the world we've got right now

[bossymarmalade]

Ollie putters around in one of the meeting rooms on the Watchtower, comparing printouts of decorations and swatches of cloth and the like. On the table is a number of food and liquor samples, and he natters to himself as he considers the party details.

Zee pokes her head into the meeting room, eyeing the spread before making her entrance known, “Making any headway with all the details? Or do you need my expertise?” she teases.

Ollie looks up, a smile breaking wide across his face when he sees her. “Zee!” he proclaims, the loud cheer that he generally makes her name. “Of course I need your expertise, it’s about /our/ gala, ain’t it?” He sweeps his arm over the table. “I was just about to text you, I got all the samples and mock-ups set up for us to look through.” Ollie pauses, raising an eyebrow at her. “Did somebody from something called … shit, I don’t remember, was it Cat Ass Food? — did they contact you about catering? Because I hope you gave them a resounding no.”

Zee laughs, cozying up to Ollie with a closer look at all the mock-ups, “It is our gala, you’re right. Winter Palace!” she tries to find the set up from the catering company that had contacted her, “Cat Butt Catering. They pitched a cute idea and I gave them a firm maybe. Not a yes. No way would I give a company named Cat Butt Catering a yes that easy.”



Ollie looks horrified. “There’s no way we should even show any approval that they /exist/, Zee!” He shakes his head aghast. “I mean, look at the perfectly scrumptious options laid out on this table, not a single one made to look like a used cat litterbox.”

Zee pouts, “It was a moment of weakness- wait did they seriously send us a dish that looked like a litterbox oh god no firm no now.”

Ollie gives a dire nod. “I checked their website. They have all kinds of bullshit cat-related food. They have some kind of pasta dish that’s made to look like hairballs.” He throws up his hands. “I mean, I’m a cat owner now and I don’t find that kind of thing charming, much less guests at a swanky society party!” Sitting down, Ollie pulls over a bottle of liqueur. “Ever tried this? Advocaat? It’s basically a super-concentrated boozy eggnog. Fun ti-imes,” he carols, waggling the bottle at her.

"Aw, that’s right you’ve got a cat too now. But you’re right it’s not going to fit. At all. So I’ll get in touch with them and say it’s just not working out. Worst case scenario I get them to cater a gag-party for my crew for new years or something. That’d be a riot." At the Advocaat, Zee raises her brow with interest, "You better share that. I almost agreed to cater this party with cat shit after all."

Ollie hoots at that, pouring them both some of the creamy golden liquor in champagne glasses. “And you probably weren’t even tipsy at the time,” he jibes her. “We woulda had a helluva time explaining the rationale behind our very peculiar hors d’ouvres.” Tugging over a plate with a morsel of wild boar and pear on it, Ollie neatly cuts the tidbit in half and eats his own share before pushing it over to Zee. “How’re you and Rayner doing? Are you taking him to that Vlatava royal thing?”

Zee takes a healthy sip from her glass, “I was so not tipsy, I was being nice! Ugh I can just imagine all those snooty faces going this is clear evidence that Zatanna is crazy, and Oliver Queen is going with her.” she pokes over the sample of boar and pear, “We’re good, good. I’m still planning on bringing him to the Vlatava event yes. If things go wild over there I’d like a little more backup than Zach- not that I don’t trust my cousin enough but. A little more never hurts.”

"Especially if that little more comes in the form of a GL and your significant other, gotcha gotcha." Ollie grins, but as he’s nearing the bottom of his second glass of advocaat, the smile wanes a bit. "Say, Zee … I mean, it might be different for you, since you’re magical and all, so that makes you and Rayner /both/ metas — or some kind of superpowered being, at any rate — but does it ever…" He swallows the rest of the drink and pulls the bottle over, frowning. "I mean. Do you ever feel like people look at you like you’ve got a power imbalance in the relationship, or something? Like one of you is stronger or more powerful and therefore the … I guess the alpha one in the relationship."

Zee nears the bottom of her glass as well, frowning in time with Ollie at his question, “Well. Even if we’re both technically metas I think there’s still enough difference between us in our powers for us- I mean I’ve known I was different since I was a kid. Kyle’s had powers for such a short time in comparison to me. It’s shaped up differently.” pressing her lips together she thinks on a possible power imbalance, “If there’s any imbalance it’s financially. You’ve got a celebrity dating a starving artist. So I guess I’m the alpha, but I don’t really dwell on it too much. I try not to anyway. Why are you feeling off balance? What’s up?”

Ollie shrugs, one-shouldered, and sighs. “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty easy to spot,” he says, glumly. “I dunno, Zee. I guess there’s some stuff that Roy said to me, about … about me and Bruce, and it’s been weighing on me pretty hard.” He laughs, a bitter note to it. “Since, fuck, since last Christmas! How’s that for unresolved bullshit.”

"Last Christmas, sheesh." Zee samples on a small spread of cheese and smoked meats, "You two really have a way of getting under the other’s skin, you know. What’d he say to you then? Or is this sort of a snowball of things, a series of things that’s led to big bad feelings."

Ollie reaches for one of the crackers that Zee’s already prepared for herself, nimbly snatching it from her fingers. “He said some really shitty stuff,” he mumbles, holding his hand in front of his mouth to catch the crumb spray. Swallowing, Ollie explains further, “Stuff insinuating that I was, y’know. The sissy when it comes to me and Bruce. Playing bitch for Bruce Wayne, is how he put it.” He makes a face and reaches for the advocaat bottle again. “And I know it’s bullshit, but it’s something I was already worried about, y’know? People’s perception of what it’s like between Bruce and me. I mean, he’s The Goddamn Batman, and I’m some shmoe what likes to shoot arrows at bad guys.” Leaning back in his chair, Ollie thumps a heel against the ground, rhythmically. “It’s just you guys who even know about us, but still. I can’t sort out how much of it is my own head-junk and how much is me internalizing what Roy said.”

Zee licks her fingers as she nibbles, “You’re not a sissy, and Bruce is not this control freak that Roy’s made him out to be. But I know that because I know the both of you well. Or with Bruce I know him as well as he’ll allow me to.” she shrugs with a sigh, “I’m sorry that you get worried and wrapped up about this, because you really shouldn’t be. None of it’s true and you know it and the people that matter the most and know of your relationship know that’s not what’s up with everything. What this sounds more like is you wanting to have Roy just accept your relationship as is….does Roy even like Kate? I don’t know.”

"Roy likes Kate because Kate’s a woman," Ollie grunts. "But he only really started liking her once we got together with Bruce. Roy doesn’t like me being queer, Zee, is the thing. I mean fuck, /I/ had a hard time with it too, but I can’t deny how I feel and what makes me happy. It just … really fucks with my head." He grabs for a plate of sugared jellies, scooping them all up and eating them without sharing. "I think I’m doing okay and then I’m with Bruce and it just clicks in, and then I feel like I need to man up or act more butch or somefucking thing like that. It’s ridiculous, I know!" Ollie opens a bottle of sparkling water, looking disgusted with himself. "Why is it that the dumbest mental hangups are the toughest ones to shake?"

"At least you’re recognizing that it’s silly for you to feel that way about yourself and your relationship. That need to man up might be your first reaction, but it doesn’t sound like you actually follow through with what you think. Sometimes your initial thoughts are what you’ve been conditioned to think, and what comes after is how you really feel," she sets her hand over Ollie’s, both in an effort to keep him from eating the entire table, and to settle him some, "My therapist said that. The conditioning thing." Zee takes a chance, grabbing at some chocolate dipped macaroons while they were still in sight, "Maybe Roy hates your relationship because he’s a massive homophobe and can’t stand to imagine you with a man, or maybe it’s something else that’s nagging on him that’s got him lashing out at you. For everyone’s sake, I hope it’s something else. Whatever, you acknowledging that your thoughts on being ‘a man’ and not acting queer. That’s a positive in my mind for you. A better step forward than what it sounds like it coming from your son. Try not to let his words and your thoughts wear on you too much."

Ollie blinks, then leans over and kisses Zee’s temple, a few grains of sugar roughing against her skin under his lips’ pressure. “Thanks, Zee,” he says, and the gratitude in his voice is hard to miss. “I know all that, yeah, but it’s more helpful hearing it from a friend. It sticks better, if that makes sense. When it’s just me trying to tell myself the same things it’s easier to dismiss. Slips down the drain faster.” He dabs up some crumbs of chocolate and coconut from the macaroons that Zee’s eaten, sucking on his finger. “A better step forward. Yeah. None of you are likely to see me that way, with Bruce. You’re right.”

Zee smiles warmly, “Of course, Ollie. Sometimes you just need reminding from someone else. That’s why I’m here.” Letting some quiet seep in between them, Zee leans back in her chair to survey what morsels remained for them to sample, but between the two of them they’d made quite a dent, “So. I’m thinking the chocolate dipped macaroons have to be in. Pear and boar too. Plus Advocaat, that’ll be sure to make the evening interesting. What do you think? sugaried jellies?”

Ollie at least looks a little sheepish as he nods. “The sugared jellies were phenomenal,” he says. “We should definitely include those.” Pulling over some of the decor printouts, Ollie slants a sly look at Zee. “Soooo … you’re the alpha, huh? How does it suit you, being a sugar mama?”

Zee eyes Ollie back with a humorous grin stretching, “I think so. Yes. As for being a sugar mama, well I get things my way even if it’s supposed to be Kyle’s things, at least when I’m playing that role. It’s not often, but it’s around enough for me to take notice. It can be nice so long as I keep remembering he has to like what I like too. He’s not some dress up doll for me to outfit to my desires,” she points to a sparkling silver layout, “I like that. Like living in an icicle.”

But Ollie doesn’t bother looking at what Zee’s pointing at, so caught up in what she’s saying. “You think he likes it, though?” he presses. “You being in that role. The alpha, the sugar mama. ‘Cause from my viewpoint — and I admit, that’s somewhat limited, considering the lad and I aren’t close — it seems like he relishes it.” He smirks. “Being your dress-up doll.”

Zee pulls back her hand and pinches her lips together, “In what universe can you see Kyle Rayner taking the lead on anything that doesn’t involve outer space.” she asks- but doesn’t ask before she starts quickly spilling out other ideas at his smirk, “Maybe he likes it because he knows I like it. Maybe we’re both weird and enjoy trying to make the other happy in stupid ways that in any other relationship would end up warped and confused. Or maybe Kyle just likes being babied because he has mommy issues, and I throw money at people because I wanna be liked because I have mommy issues too.”

Ollie raises his eyebrows a little, astonished as all this comes tumbling out. “Maybe,” he agrees. “And to be honest, Zee — it sounds like you two are pretty damn compatible, even in the weird kinda twisted ways that you don’t want to tell anybody else about.” He grins, the expression soft and elastic, easy. Sometimes she looks so damn much like that girl he’d known way back when, the one who never seemed quite at ease except when the stage lights blotted out all the faces expecting her to perform. Ollie leans in a bit to get a whiff of the sawdust and lily-of-the-valley scent (is it half in his head, half-remembered? Could be, but he doesn’t want to dwell) and says, “There’s almost nothin’ in the world feels so good as finally finding people who not only don’t run from the issues, but help you figure out the ones that you didn’t even know were sitting there under your skin.”

Zee exhales, her shoulders relaxing slowly, “I’d like to think we are. He tells me how creepy things I find ordinary- or even homey, are. And I remind him how terrifying and disgusting space is. Then we pick apart our problems piece by piece.” Laughing, she shakes her head, “But it’s funny, no matter how long I’ve been with Kyle, when people say we’re compatible or made for each other I always wonder about the what could have been relationships I almost had or just barely tapped into. I desperately love Kyle, but it still keeps me curious.” bumping her knee into Ollie’s she shrugs, “Like you know. What would’ve happened if I tried to start something with you. Or something actually worked out between Bruce and me. I think about that one a lot sometimes if I’m feeling nostalgic.”

"Yeah. It’s like that for me too, when it comes to you. One’a those things where sometimes I look at you and think, why didn’t we ever date?" Ollie chortles, rolling his water bottle between his palms against the table. "Never could get our schedules to jive, I guess. But then I wonder — maybe somewhere inside us we knew we’d make better pals than lovers? I mean, neither of us are exactly shy when it comes to getting what we want. People we want. Maybe something elemental inside us made us realize we might spoil things trying to be a relationship." Ollie finishes this speculation with a sly, hot grin, though, trailing his hand up the side of Zee’s thigh and murmuring, "…although we really shoulda tried the no-strings sex buddies thing, you’n’me."

"We must’ve known," she agrees, "Like those imaginary lines that draw people together. Our’s wasn’t tied up in some romantic love. It was what we’ve got now instead. If we really wanted it, we would’ve gone for it. You especially. That’s a fact," Zee teases as Ollie’s hand makes it’s way to her thigh, "I’d say it’s not too late for that, but something tells me our significant others might not be the happiest to learn about that going on between the two of us. Maybe."

Ollie sighs dramatically, cupping Zee’s hip and rubbing his thumb along the bone before going back to his water bottle. “Ah, well,” he declares, “maybe in another life. But for this one, I get the feeling we’re with who we’re meant to be with. And by no means does that prevent us from still being curious about other possibilities.” He peers at Zee, considering. “So you’d be open to hooking up with other guys? Experimentally? No judgement here, you understand! I’m just wondering if I understood what you were putting down correctly.”

Zee laughs, “I’ll have to try and find some parallel universe where we’re together. It’d be fascinatingly weird to see. But for here and now I think you’re right, ultimately we’re where we need to be, and with the people we’re going to end up dying over or something dramatic like that.” Zee considers Ollie’s question as she takes a glass of sparkling cider for herself, “I think I’d need a small amount of emotional investment, I’m not looking for something completely spontaneous. But, yeah. I think I’m open to that.”

Ollie watches Zee’s clever, swift hands as she pours her drink, watches the way the bubbles catch in the refracted light of the cut-glass goblet she’s using. It’s amazing, he thinks, the way she makes even mundane actions look magical. “You deserve it,” he says, still watching bubbles make rainbows in her glass. “You deserve anything you want out of life, Zee. And especially experiences that are gonna open up vistas for you, let you explore all the ins-and-outs of Zeeworld. It’s a vast and intricate place, Zeeworld.” Ollie looks up at her, smiling, and gives a decisive nod as if he’s stated a known fact.

Zee smiles over the rim of her glass, “And now we’re reached the part where you tell me something I know, but somehow it sounds better coming from you,” she takes a quick sip from her glass before pressing a kiss to Ollie’s temple, her lips sticky sweet against his skin, “Thank you Ollie. Zeeworld is incredibly vast and intricate, you’re right. I’m still mapping things together day by day.”

Ollie likes the stickiness and lets it dry there, pressed into his skin in the outline of her lips. Maybe later somebody else will kiss over it, Bruce, and he’ll lick his own lips and murmur, “…were you with Zatanna?” and it’ll be a thrill all over again. Clues and detective work of the route of affection. It’s a delightful notion. “And now,” Ollie redirects himself, because if he doesn’t he’s likely to just keep talking nonsense at Zee all evening to get her to laugh and do that particular big-lashed blue look that she does over her shoulder, “we decorate our Winter Palace."