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thejusticelounge2012-04-28 09:16 pm
bossymarmalade) wrote in thejusticelounge2012-04-28 09:16 pm
Entry tags:
unsteady
"What’s going on?" Mia demanded. "And I swear if you blow me off I’m going to have Kiki tear up all of your stuff or something. I’m not ten, I’d like to be kept in the loop of things happening."
Ollie didn't look at her. "It’s not something I want to get into with you, Mia. Suffice it to say that Jason and I have had a very violent falling-out (no, we didn’t brawl, not that kind of violent) and I won’t be working with him anymore. That doesn’t mean you can’t keep being friends with him if you want."
Mia crossed her arms and frowned. "Why? What changed?"
Ollie looked at Mia for a long time, mouth set. “It involves what happened during the nanobots thing,” he said. “Because what went down with Jason and me was bad. Very bad, and it spilled over into really ugly aftershocks, and at this point I’m the worst person to be involved with him.” He considered for a moment, then touched Mia’s shoulder. “D’you wanna talk to me about what happened to *you*?”
Mia sighed, “So what? Like it’s like for his own good? Sounds a little condescending.” Her eyes widened slightly at his question and froze for a moment. “What? — Uhm…” She fidgeted almost nervously. Shrugging her shoulders she reached up messing with her ponytail before looking over at Ollie again. “I don’t know…”
“Believe it or not, Mia, sometimes us grownups actually do know a LITTLE bit more than teenagers do. Whether you find it condescending or not.” He frowned as Mia messed with her hair. “You don’t know, or you don’t wanna tell me? Because if it’s just that you don’t want to tell *me*, there’s lots of other people you could talk to …”
“So what magically when you turn 18 you just know all this stuff or something? I mean what exactly qualifies someone as an ‘adult’?” Because she knew next year when she turned 18 it wouldn’t change anyone’s opinion of her, especially not Ollie’s. It wasn’t something that really made her… angry. Not that she’d ever admit it out loud but she hadn’t been treated like a kid since she was like… seven. So maybe it was actually nice. But still annoying.
She sat down and shrugged her shoulders again. “What do you mean? I don’t know… It’s… not that I don’t want to talk to you.” Mia frowned over at Ollie. “It’s just that… I mean… Does it matter?” Yes. Obviously it did. The blonde took a deep breath like she was going to say something else but didn’t.
“Twenty-five is the age where you qualify as an adult. The League decided on that when we first formed up. Granted, some of us barely met the age restriction, but still. We figured it would be okay to give some people wiggle room.” Ollie laughed, shortly, with no real mirth. “A policy which has been my downfall on more than one occasion.”
He sat down next to Mia, rubbing her back. “But I think you were gonna tell me something just now, weren’t you? About what happened with the nanos? Sweetie, you can tell me anything. I will *always* love you and I’m here for you, however you want that to be.”
“So, what? Like what the league says is an adult you just go with? I just mean like… you don’t magically just turn into an adult one year.” She shook her head and figured this was probably just a pointless argument to have. He wasn’t going to change his mind, and neither was she. Stubborn-ness ran deep in the arrow family.
Mia shook her head slightly. “I know you are, Ollie. It’s not because of that.” She said softly and slumped forward on the couch frowning to herself. “It’s just… It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Lie. “When we were hit by the nanobots I thought I was… Uhm… a prostitute again.” She looked at Ollie out of the corner of her eyes and took a deep breath leaning back against looking dejected. “I guess that’s.. just…” Me… “I don’t know… It’s not a big deal right. It was just the nanobots. Who cares…”
“I care. And I’m betting you care.” Ollie kept his arm wrapped around Mia, rubbing her shoulder; it was soothing for him, too. His head felt tight and achy. “Honey, being dropped back into a traumatic situation from your past isn’t something you can just brush off, or pretend doesn’t affect you. And the nanos were designed to choose whatever would fuck you up most.”
Mia looked over at him at the profanity; Ollie didn’t generally use the Big Swears around her, firmly maintaining that although it was obvious Mia knew the words, she didn’t need to hear them from him. He caught her look and gave a wry shrug, then carefully removed his arm from around her for the next sentence.
“They made me a psychopath who sexually abused his adopted kid,” Ollie told her, slowly, maintaining eye contact. Maybe he should’ve stuck to his first instinct to not tell Mia any of this. But after hearing what she’d been through, what the nanos had kicked up for her and what she was struggling with, maybe she needed to know.
Mia looked down at her hands as Ollie spoke and frowned. “I know. But it sucks…” It wasn’t fair. That Malone guy didn’t turn into anyone else! It struck her how weird that was, but… maybe he did. Maybe he just didn’t remember anything. That was why he didn’t sound like he even knew who she was… Maybe? She shook the thought out of her head though a moment later she didn’t really grasp anything except what Ollie said the nanobots had made him think.
She sent him a shocked look, her eyes widened and she blinked a few times before slowly turning her head away from Ollie. She honestly didn’t know what she was supposed to think about that. “Oh.” She felt kind of sick actually, not about Ollie, obviously he couldn’t help what happened to him as much as she couldn’t. She didn’t want to be forced into sex work again, the last thing Ollie would ever do was sexually abuse one of his kids. And maybe it was selfish or something but she couldn’t help think about what if she hadn’t ended up in Vegas with Malone…
Mia raised her head and looked back at Ollie frowning at him. Though the frown changed slightly and her eyebrows knit together almost angerly, as she sort of put two and two together about him and Jason, though she didn’t ask exactly… “So, that’s why you think you and Jason shouldn’t be around each other?”
“Yep. It *is* why we shouldn’t be around each other, there’s no two ways about it.” Ollie wasn’t quite sure what the expression on Mia’s face was, what she was feeling or thinking about this, but she hadn’t recoiled from his confession and that was good, right? That she didn’t take it as a given, or nod in resignation, or flee from the room?
“What I’m trying to get across here, Mia, is that what happened to us was messy and bad, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling like shit about it. Jason’s in total denial, I think, and it’s making him manic. I don’t want you to feel like you have to downplay it, or deny it, or act like nothing happened. It doesn’t have to make sense in your head for it to hit you hard in the gut.”
Mia nodded her head slowly as he spoke and opened her mouth before closing it again silently. “You should talk to him about it then.” She said glancing over at Ollie. “I mean it’s like… Bothering him a lot it seems and like… Ollie… things that happened to him in the past isn’t like… that different then what happened to me.” There of course were differences, major ones, but he was out on the streets turning tricks when he was a kid too… She just guessed she sympathized with him.
“I don’t know I guess. It’s just… it makes me feel like…” She trailed off and tried to find the words and sighed. “And a guy… I mean we tried to have sex with me and what if I had!? What if I let him? What if… he made me.” Mia felt ill thinking about it. About everything. She hated it! She hated everything that happened and how she was stuck with stupid Batman afterwards and ugh…
“Oh, Mia.” Ollie put his arm back around her, squeezing with that hand and taking hers in his other one. “I’m sorry that happened to you, honey. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” No use telling her it might have been worse; hearing that wouldn’t’ve helped *him*, either. There was no arguing with re-traumatization, nothing to make it less of a kick to the teeth. Ollie kissed Mia’s head, pulling her in enough so her tense body relented and slumped against him.
“And don’t fret yourself over Jason Todd,” he said. “I know why it’s bothering him, and believe me, Mia, my talking to him won’t help in the slightest. It’s best that he goes to other people for support now.” He jostled her a little. “Besides, my baby girl is my main priority, okay?”
She was a bit resistant when Ollie tugged her towards him but that never really lasted for long and she leaned her head against his chest sighing. “Alright.” She said sticking her bottom lip out and pouting slightly. Because that probably totally helped her whole argument earlier about when someone became an adult. She was the picture of adulthood right there.
“Hey.” She said looking up at Ollie. “Uhm, so… just so you know I don’t think Batman is a huge fan of mine. Like if there was ever a chance it was probably crushed.” She said and wondered if maybe that was kind of an Arrow thing. “Like… I totally said Fuck you to Batman. Just so you know…”
“That’s my girl,” Ollie said. Then he smiled a bit and added, “He’s a grown man, Mia. If you were mad at him, you probably had a reason, and he can take getting cussed at a little.”
Giving her one more squeeze, Ollie got up from the sofa. “I guess that’s enough soul-searching for one evening,” he said briskly, “but you know if you think of anything else you wanna talk about ….”
Mia smiled slightly and sighed looking over at him. “He’s such an asshole!” The thing was he didn’t really even do anything to piss her off (to her knowledge though if she knew he was Matches it’d be justified). Nothing un-Batman-ish. But Batman-ish things were super assy. “I don’t even see how his little birds can work with him.”
She rolled her eyes and watched Ollie stand up shrugging her shoulders. “Anything else I want to talk about?” Mia thought for a minute and shrugged her shoulders as she stood up herself. “Kiki chewed on a pair of your nice shoes. The brown ones? I mean… they’re not chewed up but they’re slobbery. Just in case you want to wear them any time soon you shouldn’t.” She bounced up and kissed Ollie on the cheek. “Love youu!” She cooed.
Ollie didn't look at her. "It’s not something I want to get into with you, Mia. Suffice it to say that Jason and I have had a very violent falling-out (no, we didn’t brawl, not that kind of violent) and I won’t be working with him anymore. That doesn’t mean you can’t keep being friends with him if you want."
Mia crossed her arms and frowned. "Why? What changed?"
Ollie looked at Mia for a long time, mouth set. “It involves what happened during the nanobots thing,” he said. “Because what went down with Jason and me was bad. Very bad, and it spilled over into really ugly aftershocks, and at this point I’m the worst person to be involved with him.” He considered for a moment, then touched Mia’s shoulder. “D’you wanna talk to me about what happened to *you*?”
Mia sighed, “So what? Like it’s like for his own good? Sounds a little condescending.” Her eyes widened slightly at his question and froze for a moment. “What? — Uhm…” She fidgeted almost nervously. Shrugging her shoulders she reached up messing with her ponytail before looking over at Ollie again. “I don’t know…”
“Believe it or not, Mia, sometimes us grownups actually do know a LITTLE bit more than teenagers do. Whether you find it condescending or not.” He frowned as Mia messed with her hair. “You don’t know, or you don’t wanna tell me? Because if it’s just that you don’t want to tell *me*, there’s lots of other people you could talk to …”
“So what magically when you turn 18 you just know all this stuff or something? I mean what exactly qualifies someone as an ‘adult’?” Because she knew next year when she turned 18 it wouldn’t change anyone’s opinion of her, especially not Ollie’s. It wasn’t something that really made her… angry. Not that she’d ever admit it out loud but she hadn’t been treated like a kid since she was like… seven. So maybe it was actually nice. But still annoying.
She sat down and shrugged her shoulders again. “What do you mean? I don’t know… It’s… not that I don’t want to talk to you.” Mia frowned over at Ollie. “It’s just that… I mean… Does it matter?” Yes. Obviously it did. The blonde took a deep breath like she was going to say something else but didn’t.
“Twenty-five is the age where you qualify as an adult. The League decided on that when we first formed up. Granted, some of us barely met the age restriction, but still. We figured it would be okay to give some people wiggle room.” Ollie laughed, shortly, with no real mirth. “A policy which has been my downfall on more than one occasion.”
He sat down next to Mia, rubbing her back. “But I think you were gonna tell me something just now, weren’t you? About what happened with the nanos? Sweetie, you can tell me anything. I will *always* love you and I’m here for you, however you want that to be.”
“So, what? Like what the league says is an adult you just go with? I just mean like… you don’t magically just turn into an adult one year.” She shook her head and figured this was probably just a pointless argument to have. He wasn’t going to change his mind, and neither was she. Stubborn-ness ran deep in the arrow family.
Mia shook her head slightly. “I know you are, Ollie. It’s not because of that.” She said softly and slumped forward on the couch frowning to herself. “It’s just… It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Lie. “When we were hit by the nanobots I thought I was… Uhm… a prostitute again.” She looked at Ollie out of the corner of her eyes and took a deep breath leaning back against looking dejected. “I guess that’s.. just…” Me… “I don’t know… It’s not a big deal right. It was just the nanobots. Who cares…”
“I care. And I’m betting you care.” Ollie kept his arm wrapped around Mia, rubbing her shoulder; it was soothing for him, too. His head felt tight and achy. “Honey, being dropped back into a traumatic situation from your past isn’t something you can just brush off, or pretend doesn’t affect you. And the nanos were designed to choose whatever would fuck you up most.”
Mia looked over at him at the profanity; Ollie didn’t generally use the Big Swears around her, firmly maintaining that although it was obvious Mia knew the words, she didn’t need to hear them from him. He caught her look and gave a wry shrug, then carefully removed his arm from around her for the next sentence.
“They made me a psychopath who sexually abused his adopted kid,” Ollie told her, slowly, maintaining eye contact. Maybe he should’ve stuck to his first instinct to not tell Mia any of this. But after hearing what she’d been through, what the nanos had kicked up for her and what she was struggling with, maybe she needed to know.
Mia looked down at her hands as Ollie spoke and frowned. “I know. But it sucks…” It wasn’t fair. That Malone guy didn’t turn into anyone else! It struck her how weird that was, but… maybe he did. Maybe he just didn’t remember anything. That was why he didn’t sound like he even knew who she was… Maybe? She shook the thought out of her head though a moment later she didn’t really grasp anything except what Ollie said the nanobots had made him think.
She sent him a shocked look, her eyes widened and she blinked a few times before slowly turning her head away from Ollie. She honestly didn’t know what she was supposed to think about that. “Oh.” She felt kind of sick actually, not about Ollie, obviously he couldn’t help what happened to him as much as she couldn’t. She didn’t want to be forced into sex work again, the last thing Ollie would ever do was sexually abuse one of his kids. And maybe it was selfish or something but she couldn’t help think about what if she hadn’t ended up in Vegas with Malone…
Mia raised her head and looked back at Ollie frowning at him. Though the frown changed slightly and her eyebrows knit together almost angerly, as she sort of put two and two together about him and Jason, though she didn’t ask exactly… “So, that’s why you think you and Jason shouldn’t be around each other?”
“Yep. It *is* why we shouldn’t be around each other, there’s no two ways about it.” Ollie wasn’t quite sure what the expression on Mia’s face was, what she was feeling or thinking about this, but she hadn’t recoiled from his confession and that was good, right? That she didn’t take it as a given, or nod in resignation, or flee from the room?
“What I’m trying to get across here, Mia, is that what happened to us was messy and bad, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling like shit about it. Jason’s in total denial, I think, and it’s making him manic. I don’t want you to feel like you have to downplay it, or deny it, or act like nothing happened. It doesn’t have to make sense in your head for it to hit you hard in the gut.”
Mia nodded her head slowly as he spoke and opened her mouth before closing it again silently. “You should talk to him about it then.” She said glancing over at Ollie. “I mean it’s like… Bothering him a lot it seems and like… Ollie… things that happened to him in the past isn’t like… that different then what happened to me.” There of course were differences, major ones, but he was out on the streets turning tricks when he was a kid too… She just guessed she sympathized with him.
“I don’t know I guess. It’s just… it makes me feel like…” She trailed off and tried to find the words and sighed. “And a guy… I mean we tried to have sex with me and what if I had!? What if I let him? What if… he made me.” Mia felt ill thinking about it. About everything. She hated it! She hated everything that happened and how she was stuck with stupid Batman afterwards and ugh…
“Oh, Mia.” Ollie put his arm back around her, squeezing with that hand and taking hers in his other one. “I’m sorry that happened to you, honey. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” No use telling her it might have been worse; hearing that wouldn’t’ve helped *him*, either. There was no arguing with re-traumatization, nothing to make it less of a kick to the teeth. Ollie kissed Mia’s head, pulling her in enough so her tense body relented and slumped against him.
“And don’t fret yourself over Jason Todd,” he said. “I know why it’s bothering him, and believe me, Mia, my talking to him won’t help in the slightest. It’s best that he goes to other people for support now.” He jostled her a little. “Besides, my baby girl is my main priority, okay?”
She was a bit resistant when Ollie tugged her towards him but that never really lasted for long and she leaned her head against his chest sighing. “Alright.” She said sticking her bottom lip out and pouting slightly. Because that probably totally helped her whole argument earlier about when someone became an adult. She was the picture of adulthood right there.
“Hey.” She said looking up at Ollie. “Uhm, so… just so you know I don’t think Batman is a huge fan of mine. Like if there was ever a chance it was probably crushed.” She said and wondered if maybe that was kind of an Arrow thing. “Like… I totally said Fuck you to Batman. Just so you know…”
“That’s my girl,” Ollie said. Then he smiled a bit and added, “He’s a grown man, Mia. If you were mad at him, you probably had a reason, and he can take getting cussed at a little.”
Giving her one more squeeze, Ollie got up from the sofa. “I guess that’s enough soul-searching for one evening,” he said briskly, “but you know if you think of anything else you wanna talk about ….”
Mia smiled slightly and sighed looking over at him. “He’s such an asshole!” The thing was he didn’t really even do anything to piss her off (to her knowledge though if she knew he was Matches it’d be justified). Nothing un-Batman-ish. But Batman-ish things were super assy. “I don’t even see how his little birds can work with him.”
She rolled her eyes and watched Ollie stand up shrugging her shoulders. “Anything else I want to talk about?” Mia thought for a minute and shrugged her shoulders as she stood up herself. “Kiki chewed on a pair of your nice shoes. The brown ones? I mean… they’re not chewed up but they’re slobbery. Just in case you want to wear them any time soon you shouldn’t.” She bounced up and kissed Ollie on the cheek. “Love youu!” She cooed.