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thejusticelounge2013-02-06 10:38 am
bossymarmalade) wrote in thejusticelounge2013-02-06 10:38 am
Entry tags:
stay out of the kitchen
Zatanna magically teleported Captain Marvel and herself directly into the cafeteria. “One warning only, Etrigan. Say the poem and transform back to Jason Blood. NOW” He was loathe to start a physical fight with Etrigan here, inside the tower, but there was nothing stopping his mother from teleporting them a hundred feet from the Watchtower, in space if it came down to fisticuffs.
Etrigan barely even looked up from his meal at the Magician and the Mightiest Mortal.
“You come in here barking your orders quite loud,
But why should I leave here and miss this fun bash?
Zauriel knew where his actions would lead -
And that’s why he’s now just a sad pile of ash.”
The Demon tossed the bone he had been gnawing on onto a growing pile in on the floor. Following the bone’s trajectory, the heroes could see he was tossing trash onto a pile of ashes that only an hour ago was their teammate, the Angel Zauriel.
“Blame someone else! I did nothing wrong!
I touched but one feather on that Angel’s wing.
I merely sat here enjoying my supper -
It is quite delicious and fit for a king!” Etrigan said, smiling.
When it was apparent that he would not get a smile in return, the Demon simply shrugged and picked up another chicken wing.
“If he didn’t want this, he shouldn’t make deals.
The Angel knew quite well what would come to pass.
So if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just sit here
And eat while I stare at your mother’s tight -” {{{BLIP}}}
‘Blip’ was a strange enough sound to make as a Demon popped out of existence. But as his half-eaten chicken wing rattled to the floor where he had been only a split second before, all present had to admit what that ‘blip’ sound signified: Etrigan was no longer on the mortal plane. Something or someone had pulled him out of reality. And from the incomplete meal still stinking up the room and the look of surprise on the Demon’s face, it seemed pretty clear that Etrigan himself had nothing to do with his disappearing act.
Things just keep getting stranger and stranger…
Captain Marvel looked over at Zatanna in confusion. “Does this mean I have to go back to school now?” he asked.
The door to the cafeteria busted open.
“Where is he?!” Zauriel shouted as he strode into the room purposefully, his flaming sword held aloft. “Where. Is. Etrigan?!”
The shocked and mute faces of Captain Marvel and Zatanna were his only answer. “Forgive me” the Angel said taking a breath. “I realize my appearance must come a s bit of a shock to you. I apologize and will be happy to explain as soon as I find -”
{{{BLIP}}}
Suddenly, Etrigan was sitting back in the Watchtower cafeteria looking down at his plate of uneaten chicken wings.
“FOUL DEMON!” Zauriel yelled as he charged the Etrigan’s table. “You will pay for your sins!”
“Wait! Wait!” Etrigan said, raising his empty hands. “Stop!” But it was too late to stay the Angel’s vengeance. The sword came down swiftly and lopped the Demon’s head from his neck. It rolled to across the floor and came to rest against the wall there.
“Owwwwwwwwww!” Etrigan’s head yelled. “That hurt angel!”
“By all that is holy and just in our time” Zauriel sputtered at the Demon’s head, “you will - wait! Why didn’t you rhyme?
“That’s what I was trying to explain to you before you went off half-cocked feather brain!” Etrigan’s head answered as his body stood and walked over to the wall. His hands bent down and picked up his head, placing it back on his shoulders. “I’m no threat to you Z-bird. In fact, now I owe you one!”
Zauriel looked to Captain Marvel and Zatanna again for an explanation, but they appeared as lost as he was.
“See, I just got back from a quick trip to hell” Etrigan explained as the muscles of his neck grew upwards and reconnected his head to his body. “And it turns out I got a promotion. I’ve been given a rank higher than ‘rhyming class’ so yes, my poetry might be a little more free verse from here on out.”
“You… you did…” Zauriel searched for the right words. “You mean this was all part of your plan?
“Well not, all of it” the Demon shrugged. “But when I heard the Martian was headed to the Netherlands to save a cemetery full of zombie Canadians, I may have planted the mental suggestion to use a soul catcher and the Phantom Zone in his mind knowing full well that he’d want to be all heroic and sacrifice himself for the greater good. Ooo… is anyone going to finish these?” Etrigan asked as he picked up another Buffalo chicken wing.
“But… But I…” Zauriel looked forlorn as he lowered his sword.
“How did your death get involved?” Etrigan completed his thought as he ate. “Well, I knew that once you found out about good ol’ limbo you’d rush off to try to save the Martian. I knew the two of you shared a bit of a connection.”
The Demon continued to speak with a mouthful of chicken wings, manners never being his greatest asset. “So I sent you a message from the Martian’s computer asking you to fill in for him at that Committee Meeting. I’m just glad you told the Big Blue to stay home and let you handle it alone. He’s a bit of a tough nut to crack you know.”
“Yes, but Jason Blood… How did he…?” Zauriel asked.
“Blood?” Etrigan laughed. “No, he had nothing to do with any of this. I found a bit of an escape route that he doesn’t know about yet so sometimes I get to have a little fun without him knowing. Which is how I got my hands on a copy of the Pergamum Codex for him. I knew he’d be in his study reading it - right where you could bust in and find him Halo Boy. From that point on, it was child’s play to convince you to hand over your feather. You see, it’s all a big game of chess to me. You just have to put the pieces in the right spot on the board and watch the king fall…”
“And my death?” Zauriel asked. “I guess that’s the prize you sought? That’s why Neron promoted you out of the rhyming ranks?”
“Well not your death specifically” Etrigan intoned between bites of food. “Don’t think too highly of yourself Zauriel. The death of any angel would have worked. I only picked you because, as everyone knows, you come back. I’ve read the files. I’ve done my homework. I’m not all hell fire and claws you know. I know that you’ve died before and Heaven keeps granting you a mortal form to return and be their emissary on Earth again. I just figured it would happen again.” Etrigan burped. “And I figured right I see.”
Zauriel looked at his other two teammates still standing in shock, watching the conversation play out. He nodded at them in confirmation with a slight sheepish grin before returning his attention to the chicken-eating Demon. “That doesn’t mean it’s not painful!” he said with a scowl.
“Eh, you’ll live” Etrigan shrugged. “And now you’ve done me a favor.”
“Fine” Zauriel said begrudgingly. “But what of J’onn? The last I saw of him, he was still under possession of an evil spirit.”
“The Martian?” Etrigan asked putting down his chicken. “Oh, I almost forgot about him. I found a mad, power-hungry spirit in the pit, told him some of my plan, and taught him how to hide inside the alien’s mind until the right moment. But don’t worry. He won’t last long. I didn’t tell him about the last part of my plan…”
“And what part is that?” Zauriel asked warily, picking up his sword.
Etrigan picked up another chicken wing and took a bite. “The Justice League never loses” he said while chewing.
The League alerts all went off in the cafeteria informing the group of Kyle’s report. J’onn was safe. The League won. And the Demon was right.
“There” Etrigan said with a mouthful of chicken. “My plot is done. I guess you all owe me an apology for doubting that I -“
“Erans eht nomeD!” Zatanna cast, waving her hands as if throwing a rope, then pulling back on it. The energy in the room obeyed the mystic and a rope snare appeared, wrapping around the Demon’s ankles, pulling him up and hanging him upside down from the ceiling.
“If you’re waiting for an apology, I wouldn’t suggest holding your breath” Zauriel said to the hanging Etrigan. ”In fact, since it seems that removing your head does no permanent damage…” The Angel drew his flaming sword.
“No, no, wait…” Etrigan said waving his hands. ”Gone, gone, O Etrigan! Resume once more the form of man!”
“Someone care to explain what the bloody hell is going on here…?” a very confused and grumpy upside down Jason Blood asked the Angel.
Zauriel sheathed his sword. ”Zatanna?”
“Esaeler” she said. Jason Blood tumbled down to the cafeteria table into a pile of chicken wings and bones.
The Angel held out his hand, lifting the old knight up. ”Jason, we… we need to talk.”
Etrigan barely even looked up from his meal at the Magician and the Mightiest Mortal.
“You come in here barking your orders quite loud,
But why should I leave here and miss this fun bash?
Zauriel knew where his actions would lead -
And that’s why he’s now just a sad pile of ash.”
The Demon tossed the bone he had been gnawing on onto a growing pile in on the floor. Following the bone’s trajectory, the heroes could see he was tossing trash onto a pile of ashes that only an hour ago was their teammate, the Angel Zauriel.
“Blame someone else! I did nothing wrong!
I touched but one feather on that Angel’s wing.
I merely sat here enjoying my supper -
It is quite delicious and fit for a king!” Etrigan said, smiling.
When it was apparent that he would not get a smile in return, the Demon simply shrugged and picked up another chicken wing.
“If he didn’t want this, he shouldn’t make deals.
The Angel knew quite well what would come to pass.
So if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just sit here
And eat while I stare at your mother’s tight -” {{{BLIP}}}
‘Blip’ was a strange enough sound to make as a Demon popped out of existence. But as his half-eaten chicken wing rattled to the floor where he had been only a split second before, all present had to admit what that ‘blip’ sound signified: Etrigan was no longer on the mortal plane. Something or someone had pulled him out of reality. And from the incomplete meal still stinking up the room and the look of surprise on the Demon’s face, it seemed pretty clear that Etrigan himself had nothing to do with his disappearing act.
Things just keep getting stranger and stranger…
Captain Marvel looked over at Zatanna in confusion. “Does this mean I have to go back to school now?” he asked.
The door to the cafeteria busted open.
“Where is he?!” Zauriel shouted as he strode into the room purposefully, his flaming sword held aloft. “Where. Is. Etrigan?!”
The shocked and mute faces of Captain Marvel and Zatanna were his only answer. “Forgive me” the Angel said taking a breath. “I realize my appearance must come a s bit of a shock to you. I apologize and will be happy to explain as soon as I find -”
{{{BLIP}}}
Suddenly, Etrigan was sitting back in the Watchtower cafeteria looking down at his plate of uneaten chicken wings.
“FOUL DEMON!” Zauriel yelled as he charged the Etrigan’s table. “You will pay for your sins!”
“Wait! Wait!” Etrigan said, raising his empty hands. “Stop!” But it was too late to stay the Angel’s vengeance. The sword came down swiftly and lopped the Demon’s head from his neck. It rolled to across the floor and came to rest against the wall there.
“Owwwwwwwwww!” Etrigan’s head yelled. “That hurt angel!”
“By all that is holy and just in our time” Zauriel sputtered at the Demon’s head, “you will - wait! Why didn’t you rhyme?
“That’s what I was trying to explain to you before you went off half-cocked feather brain!” Etrigan’s head answered as his body stood and walked over to the wall. His hands bent down and picked up his head, placing it back on his shoulders. “I’m no threat to you Z-bird. In fact, now I owe you one!”
Zauriel looked to Captain Marvel and Zatanna again for an explanation, but they appeared as lost as he was.
“See, I just got back from a quick trip to hell” Etrigan explained as the muscles of his neck grew upwards and reconnected his head to his body. “And it turns out I got a promotion. I’ve been given a rank higher than ‘rhyming class’ so yes, my poetry might be a little more free verse from here on out.”
“You… you did…” Zauriel searched for the right words. “You mean this was all part of your plan?
“Well not, all of it” the Demon shrugged. “But when I heard the Martian was headed to the Netherlands to save a cemetery full of zombie Canadians, I may have planted the mental suggestion to use a soul catcher and the Phantom Zone in his mind knowing full well that he’d want to be all heroic and sacrifice himself for the greater good. Ooo… is anyone going to finish these?” Etrigan asked as he picked up another Buffalo chicken wing.
“But… But I…” Zauriel looked forlorn as he lowered his sword.
“How did your death get involved?” Etrigan completed his thought as he ate. “Well, I knew that once you found out about good ol’ limbo you’d rush off to try to save the Martian. I knew the two of you shared a bit of a connection.”
The Demon continued to speak with a mouthful of chicken wings, manners never being his greatest asset. “So I sent you a message from the Martian’s computer asking you to fill in for him at that Committee Meeting. I’m just glad you told the Big Blue to stay home and let you handle it alone. He’s a bit of a tough nut to crack you know.”
“Yes, but Jason Blood… How did he…?” Zauriel asked.
“Blood?” Etrigan laughed. “No, he had nothing to do with any of this. I found a bit of an escape route that he doesn’t know about yet so sometimes I get to have a little fun without him knowing. Which is how I got my hands on a copy of the Pergamum Codex for him. I knew he’d be in his study reading it - right where you could bust in and find him Halo Boy. From that point on, it was child’s play to convince you to hand over your feather. You see, it’s all a big game of chess to me. You just have to put the pieces in the right spot on the board and watch the king fall…”
“And my death?” Zauriel asked. “I guess that’s the prize you sought? That’s why Neron promoted you out of the rhyming ranks?”
“Well not your death specifically” Etrigan intoned between bites of food. “Don’t think too highly of yourself Zauriel. The death of any angel would have worked. I only picked you because, as everyone knows, you come back. I’ve read the files. I’ve done my homework. I’m not all hell fire and claws you know. I know that you’ve died before and Heaven keeps granting you a mortal form to return and be their emissary on Earth again. I just figured it would happen again.” Etrigan burped. “And I figured right I see.”
Zauriel looked at his other two teammates still standing in shock, watching the conversation play out. He nodded at them in confirmation with a slight sheepish grin before returning his attention to the chicken-eating Demon. “That doesn’t mean it’s not painful!” he said with a scowl.
“Eh, you’ll live” Etrigan shrugged. “And now you’ve done me a favor.”
“Fine” Zauriel said begrudgingly. “But what of J’onn? The last I saw of him, he was still under possession of an evil spirit.”
“The Martian?” Etrigan asked putting down his chicken. “Oh, I almost forgot about him. I found a mad, power-hungry spirit in the pit, told him some of my plan, and taught him how to hide inside the alien’s mind until the right moment. But don’t worry. He won’t last long. I didn’t tell him about the last part of my plan…”
“And what part is that?” Zauriel asked warily, picking up his sword.
Etrigan picked up another chicken wing and took a bite. “The Justice League never loses” he said while chewing.
The League alerts all went off in the cafeteria informing the group of Kyle’s report. J’onn was safe. The League won. And the Demon was right.
“There” Etrigan said with a mouthful of chicken. “My plot is done. I guess you all owe me an apology for doubting that I -“
“Erans eht nomeD!” Zatanna cast, waving her hands as if throwing a rope, then pulling back on it. The energy in the room obeyed the mystic and a rope snare appeared, wrapping around the Demon’s ankles, pulling him up and hanging him upside down from the ceiling.
“If you’re waiting for an apology, I wouldn’t suggest holding your breath” Zauriel said to the hanging Etrigan. ”In fact, since it seems that removing your head does no permanent damage…” The Angel drew his flaming sword.
“No, no, wait…” Etrigan said waving his hands. ”Gone, gone, O Etrigan! Resume once more the form of man!”
“Someone care to explain what the bloody hell is going on here…?” a very confused and grumpy upside down Jason Blood asked the Angel.
Zauriel sheathed his sword. ”Zatanna?”
“Esaeler” she said. Jason Blood tumbled down to the cafeteria table into a pile of chicken wings and bones.
The Angel held out his hand, lifting the old knight up. ”Jason, we… we need to talk.”