about bou (and other stuff too)

[bossymarmalade]

**shado comes to town

O: How are you doing, sweetheart? I feel like we’re in one of those phases where everything’s been hectic for so long, I can’t even keep track of what I meant to ask you about. Things that’ve been upsetting for you. *strokes her hair back, kissing her nose*

K: I’m…I’m okay. I’m tired of the past getting thrown back in our faces, though. It…it makes me feel insecure. And worse, it makes me worry the past isn’t gone for me either.

O: *smooths his hand down her back, cradling her closer* It … I kinda think it won’t be, ever. I’m not one to dwell on my past either, more than I can help it, but — I mean, all those things shaped us. We’ll never really get past ‘em. *adds more gently* Especially things we haven’t dealt with yet.

K: I know. But I mean, by that…I mean I’m worried about… *runs a hand through her hair, fingers tensing* I’m worried Walter won’t be dead. Considering the track record around here with that kind of thing.

O: *shudders, despite himself, and tugs the covers up more over them* We do have a really bad habit the dead rising. Although technically I shouldn’t be complaining about that. *tightens his fingers on her shoulderblade, briefly* I can’t say he won’t, honey. But you won’t be alone to deal with him this time, and even more importantly — you’re not a little girl anymore. *pulls back a little, cupping her face* You’re the strongest, most fierce-minded woman I know, and even if you have trouble fighting him to protect yourself, you’d /literally/ go to hell and back to protect the rest of us from him. I know that about you. You’re tougher than even you know, Catalina. *he says the name more softly, in a lower register, unconsciously mimicking the way Bruce says it*



K: I’m not complaining in certain situations. *can’t help but blush, though, when he says her name like Bruce does, because of the reaction it causes in her* I won’t let him near Ramsey again. If he does, I’ll kill him slow. *says this as if it’s obvious she’ll kill him regardless*

O: *blinks, but doesn’t address this directly* Our ghosts don’t rest easy. I keep waiting for Mia’s fuckhole of a dad to show up, too. *makes an angry rumbling noise into her shoulder, then turns onto his back, tugging her to rest against him* At least my parents’re good and dead and unlikely to show up anytime soon. Uh, not that they were murderous assholes or anything, but still. Kind of a relief.

K: They’d be all right. We could deal with that. *She strokes fingertips against Ollie’s shoulder, tries to keep from talking about what’s on her mind*

O: Yeah, we’d just have to put up with my dad hitting on Zee and Mar’i and my mom pumping you for information on what I’ve been up to for the last thirty years. *settles some more, stroking her arm* But enough of my nonsense. Was there … I mean, was it just Walter you were worried about? When it comes to the past getting thrown back at us?

K: Both of those two could more than handle themselves, and I’m sure I’d get along with your mom. *tenses a little, then shakes her head* No, not the past. I…Bruce…

O: What about Bruce, sweetie? *has his own inkling of what this might be about, but stops himself from offering his ideas before she comes out with hers*

K: I…fucking hell, why is everything about babies now? *shakes her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes* I… *gathers herself up, because she’s been told not to give people the runaround anymore, and frowns to herself to try to talk it out* I want a baby with the both of you. But I don’t think right now is a good time. Or possibly at all. And I know what you said, and the want isn’t a dealbreaker, you know?

O: *turns onto his side to look at her, tracing her collarbone, the slope of her breast* No, now isn’t a good time at all. But that doesn’t mean there’ll never be a good time.

K: From…from what your reaction was, before, it seemed like there wouldn’t be a good time. And now, with Bruce…not able to… So. But it’s something, uh, something I’d like to consider. Maybe. Sometime. Eventually.

O: It’s … *stops, gathering himself* It’s a paradigm shift for me. To try and wrap my head around it. I mean, you had a miscarriage and went through that shit in Cachement, and Bruce /wanted/ to have kids and can’t anymore, and it’s … *stops again, jaw shifting* It just seems unfair. That I’m the only one who doesn’t have any traumatic stuff around making babies, and I’m the one who’s the most reluctant. *falls back onto the bed with a bitter laugh* Or maybe it’s more ironic than unfair.

K: I know, cielo. *leans over him on the bed, trails fingers along his chest* I’m willing to wait. And saying you don’t have traumatic stuff…that wouldn’t really be accurate, in my book.

O: *puts his hand over hers, clasping her fingers and kissing the tips of them* I guess, yeah. *sighs, nibbling at her fingernail* I liked the idea of the baby being Bruce’s better. Biologically, y’know, not how she’d be raised. I’d be all in for that part of it.

K: I…maybe there’s still a way. I wish…I wish the baby could be both of yours. If we had one, I mean. *rests her forehead against his*

O: That would be the best way, yeah. Maybe we’ll have to wait for either some crazy outerspace alien tech. Or a massive breakthrough from Wayne Labs’ geneticists, heh. *twirls her hair around his fingers* But even still. It’s not like we need a baby to … I dunno. Legitimize this, or anything.

K: I know, that’s not…that’s not why. You’re in my blood. Both of you. I want to make something, someone, out of that, I think.

O: She’d be beautiful. Dark and smart and with that way that you both have of looking at everything and everyone, like you want to dissect them. In the good way. *nuzzles against her* A perfect, complete little person right from the get-go.

K: You’re so sure it’d be a girl. *laughs* But clever like her other father too. Street smart and stubborn as fuck.

O: *more comfortably, since they’re squarely on the hypothetical now rather than brass tacks and logistics* Of course she’d be a girl! What use are boys to anybody?

K: Dunno, I get use out of mine…

O: *laughs* I guess you do, at that. And so do I, my girl and boy both. *kisses her, with amusement at first but then getting deeper, warmer* Katie. D’you know how much better my life’s gotten since you? It’s immeasurable.

K: *softly* Just the same for me, you know. *kisses him firmly, reaching out and stroking his jaw with her thumb, cupping her hand underneath it* We need to go to Belize.

O: You ‘n me, or you me and boyfriend? *pushes his chin into her hand more, eyes closing a little in pleasure*

K: The latter. *gentles him like a horse or maybe a puppy* Ollie…you know how I said he loves you?

O: Mmm-hmmm. *his fingers get more languid against her* Whubbout it?

K: He…he said it to me.

O: *cracks one eye back open* That he loves you? Like, he said the literal words?

K: …*sheepish, looking down* Yeah. Is that bad?

O: Oh, god, Katie, of course not! I’m glad. It’s about time. You deserve to hear that as much as you possibly can.

K: I couldn’t believe it.

O: *grins sunnily at her, his delight over this news pushing past his lazy enjoyment of being gentled and pet* If Longears managed to form the words of his own volition, you /better/ believe it, baby. *tickles her hip* How does it feel?

K: *thinks, trying to find a word* deep. Infinite. Like with the two of you I’m swimming and the ocean doesn’t have any floor, but that’s okay.

O: *seems very pleased by this* Yeah. That sounds about right. Did he stutter or anything? Or just out with it?

K: He was talking about you, about figuring things out, and I said that he loved you. And he nodded. And then he said after a moment, that he loved me. Though he was nervous, I could tell.

O: *shivers at the idea of it* Good. Good! It’s about fucking time. My sweet Katiebell. *kisses her a few times* I hope it’s … I mean, I would hope that you didn’t have any doubts lingering about how important you are to him, but if you did, I hope this shooed them away.

K: I wasn’t…I’m not afraid. I just, it was good. To hear it from him, like that. I thought he never…

O: Yeah. But … you’ve changed him. We’ve changed him.

K: And we’ve all changed.

O: *voice dropping lower* We have. And I don’t think we could ever change back.

K: I wouldn’t want to. My boys.

O: *hugging her close* Our girl.

—- —- —-

**enter boudica

K: Ollie.

O: Yes, darling?

K: Puppy.

O: What about the puppy? Don’t you like her? She has such a sweet face!

K: She’s adorable, of course I like her.

O: Is it … the fact that Bruce went and found a puppy and wants to give her to you?

K: There’s not anything wrong! Except she’s scared and alone and only small.

O: *wraps his arms around her, kissing her head* I know. But she doesn’t have to be, anymore.

K: So little.

O: *smiling* She’ll grow outta that.

K: Bruce is such a sap.

O: God, yeah. Especially for animals. Must be where Damian gets it from — god knows it probably ain’t Talia who instilled him with a sense of protectiveness towards the vulnerable.

K: I’d agree with that guess. I can’t help but find his tone of text funny. I FOUND A DOG. HERE IS DOG. TAKE DOG.

O: He tries to look tough. But you caught him out on that big ol’ sappy smile.

K: PLEASE TAKE DOG?

O: *tickles her*

K: Awww, dammit. *giggling* I was just about to get to Bruce doing his own puppydog eyes.

O: Do ‘em, do ‘em!!

K: *clears throat, composes face to look as impassive as possible before opening her eyes wide and blinking implorably at Ollie*

O: *dissolves into chortles, taking her face in his hands and kissing her* DOG WILL LOVE YOU. DOG IS SO SMALL.

K: I like how when he’s asking a question he never types a question mark. “Do you want the dog. What kind of food do you want.” etc.

O: *chuckling* For a detective, he doesn’t seem to like questions very much, does our boy.

K: It’s more that he prefers to be firm about these things. He’s getting better.

O: *kisses her ear* We all are, I think. Even if it’s rough going sometimes.

K: I know. *leans into him* I love you both. My boys.

O: We have a good life, don’t we.

K: Other than the constant wtfery? Yeah. We do.

O: WTFery I can handle! Life would be dull without it. But it’s a lot more fun when I have people I care about to go ‘what the fuck’ with me.

K: More than just fun. Better.

O: Marrying you was one of the smartest things I’ve done in my whole life.

K: I can’t tell if I’m supposed to agree with you or if that would sound ridiculous of me.

O: *grinning slowly* You should agree. Definitely.

K: I agree that marrying you was one of the smarter things I’ve done.

O: *with a low, triumphant laugh* There we go, that’s my good girl. *scoops her up against him, kissing her deeply*

K: *cuddles him and accepts the kiss before nuzzling his neck, not minding the beard burn tingle*

O: *murmuring against her hair* You’re in a snuggly mood today, lady. Not that I’m complaining. I like snuggling all the snugglicious parts of you. *cups her ass, hoisting her against him slightly*

K: Do you, mister? Well, it’s a good thing I’m looking for snuggles. *wriggles her ass a bit to get comfortable, then leans back in*

O: *nosing at her fondly* Katie, Mia wants to move out with Zach. Maybe just for the summer. Maybe for good.

K: *frowns a little in thought* Well, it’s not like she’s not responsible enough…

O: Naw, I’m not worried. The girl survived the streets before she even turned sixteen, she knows how to handle stuff on her own. I’m just … figuring out how to feel about it.

K: *strokes his hair* It’s never not a little sad. But it’s also good.

O: I kinda feel like we haven’t had enough time together. You don’t know how much that girl’s changed me, honey. What I was like before. What if when we’re not living together…

K: Ollie. She’s always your daughter. And she will never put up with any bullshit.

O: Mmmm. *tightens his arms around her* On the other hand, it means we can get up to some /seriously/ nasty sex around here…

—- —- —-

**what it all means

O: I keep calling her Blu.

K: Well, she’s blue, so you’re entirely allowed.

O: She really IS blue! It’s so weird. But you two look adorable together.

K: I hope you don’t mind, cielo.

O: What? Whaddyou mean?

K: You…weren’t enthusiastic, so I just…I don’t know.

O: Sweetie. It’s not like you need me to be over the moon about it for you to get a dog! I wasn’t crazy at the idea of Kiki, either.

K: I know. But I just wanted to make sure you didn’t hate it.

O: Oh, honey. *wraps his arms around her* I don’t hate her. I don’t hate the idea of her and I don’t hate her and I’m not upset with you.

K: Okay. That’s good. *smiles a little, resting her head against his shoulder*

O: I think she came at the right time for you. And maybe for Bruce a little bit, too.

K: *brow furrows* He says he doesn’t want to talk about it. But he should. Should talk about it, not should want to.

O: And isn’t that always the story.

K: I know, I know. But this is…Bruce. I just don’t like to talk about it. Bruce gets violent about talking.

O: Violent?

K: You know. He lashes out.

O: Ahhh, yeah. I know that. But he has to, and we’re the only ones who can get him to do it, sometimes. Besides, she’s your puppy. He gave her to you, specifically, for a purpose, Katie.

K: He’ll talk about Bou. But not about…uh, fertility issues.

O: If anybody has the positioning to pull rank in that topic, it’s you, though.

K: Maybe. I’ll have to give it time. I don’t know, you were the one who talked to him and… It didn’t go well.

O: Yeah, it didn’t go well because I have specific issues with fertility and kids. As in, not wanting any. Or at least, having had them by mistake. Completely different from the two of you. He’ll feel like you’re both on the same page with it.

K: *wouldn’t exactly say one of the situations was ‘by mistake’ but doesn’t have the energy to talk through that one, not with said assassin nearby* Maybe.

O: *firmly* He will. And you two need to talk about Cachement. The demon baby and the Child.

K: I’ve talked with you about it.

O: But you two have a different set of stuff around it!

K: Maybe. But without someone telling me I need to talk, how am I going to talk about it?

O: *pulls back and eyes her suspiciously* …you’re taking the piss outta me, right?

K: When it comes to this? I don’t know if I can talk about it again with someone who’s going to just sit there and watch me.

O: You can do it. Kate, you can do this, I know you can.

K: But he’s just gonna WATCH ME.

O: So? You get watched all the time, in court, by actively hostile people! This is just one Bruce who loves you like the sky loves stars.

K: I didn’t think the sky had any emotions…

O: *stares flatly at her*

K: *blinks cutely*

O: He loves you. And he’s scared and upset because he can’t give you a baby. Because the last time he did, in a manner of speaking, she died in his arms.

K: *bites her lip, brow furrowing, trying not to let that make her cry* I didn’t think he wanted that. With me.

O: *breathes in, running his hands over Kate’s hair and down over her ears, cupping her face* He does. So much. It kills him that he can’t have that with you now. And I’m not saying he’s the only one in pain, not by a long shot. I mean, jesus, with what happened to you in Cachement … there’s so much to talk to him about that, Kate, what you went through.

K: Look, I know, I just…I can’t tell if he wants that because I wanted that. And I’m still not 100% okay with me wanting it…

O: No. It’s not just because you wanted a baby. He talked about it a lot, Kate, a huge amount. So many daydreams about you carrying our child.

K: Oh. *bites her lip*

O: *roughly* Yeah. He feels like he’s … let you down, is what I’m guessing.

K: He’s not. He can’t help it.

O: And I’m guessing that’s how you feel, too. That you let him down, I mean.

K: In some ways.

O: *clears his throat, voice more gentle* So you two should talk about it.

K: Yeah.

O: So even if he just watches you, at least you’ll kinda know what he’s thinking. But you should tell him to talk, too.

K: Well, I’ll do my best there.

O: *hugging her* I’m sorry, Katie. That you’re both going through this.

K: I’m sorry you’ve got to be dragged through the wringer alongside, though.

O: That’s the absolute LEAST of my worries. I can’t even remember what he’s sore at me about, tell you the truth. *gives her a lopsided grin*

K: I don’t think he’s upset with you about the truth. I think he’s upset with himself.

O: He’s taking it really hard. He wanted babies with you. And now all he can do is bring you puppies.

K: *swallows, sets jaw* For now.

O: *draws back a little, gnawing on his bottom lip* Yeah.