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thejusticelounge2014-12-31 08:54 am
bossymarmalade) wrote in thejusticelounge2014-12-31 08:54 am
cake and candy
KSpenz has gone for a checkup, remarkably without any reluctance, because she doesn’t know what else to do with herself. She’s next to useless in a fight, Mar’i isn’t accepting anyone’s calls, and everything feels like a ceramic that’s been broken and then put back together slightly askew.
KSpenz gets some news she wasn’t expecting, and is therefore deep in thought as she absentmindedly heads towards Coffee, Nearest Available (it’s like she has a tracker in her head).
Ollie has at this point eaten the frosting off of three cupcakes and has almost finished his milkshake. He’s a little bit nauseated but a lot jumped up on sugar when he sees Kate come in with coffee, and waves at her, pink staining his fingertips.
KSpenz catches the fluttering pinkness out of the corner of her eye, and it’s odd enough to catch her attention and divert her Ollie’s way. She appraises the carnage of de-frostinged cupcakes and nearly finished extra-large milkshake—just looking at it makes her teeth ache. Then, she plops down across from him, forgetting she shouldn’t do that and hissing through gritted teeth. Even so, she manages to reach out for one of the bare cupcakes and starts to unpeel it. “You’re sweet already,” she quips.
Ollie blinks at her, unprepared for that quip and honestly, not quite sure how to take it. “You know who you’re talking to, right?” he finally says, taking the peeled cupcake paper and slowly chewing it into his mouth, where he continues to chew all the cake flavour out of it.
"You just don’t think you are." Kate watches him chew and makes a face, wrinkling up her nose. "Seriously, though, Ollie…please tell me it’s not some kinda bug alien possessing you and you’re going to start demanding," she puts on a growly stilted voice, “‘sugar. in water. more.’ Or something."
KSpenz notes, “Because I don’t know how well I could cope with something wearing an Ollie suit, and Agent K coming in here with a Neuralizer…”
Ollie shakes his head, snorting. “I can’t keep up with your pop culture references sometimes,” he says. “What is that, Men in Black? Anyhow, no, don’t worry — just 100% prime USDA-grade Ollie in here. I just crave a lot of sugar sometimes. After going through a fuckton of craziness.” He puts his fingers to his mouth, extracting a small throroughly masticated pellet of cupcake paper. “And I used to chew paper when I was little,” he adds, like he’s just remembered. “When I didn’t have any stored up dried-out chicken bones to suck on.”
KSpenz grimaces at the pellet and pushes a napkin across the table. “Yes, Men in Black,” she says, but she’s not certain enough of her footing to tease him more about it. Not yet. She starts to eat the (slightly damp from Ollie eating the top off) cupcake—it’s not bad. “Dried out chicken bones…I guess it’s better than what I used to do as a kid. Sort of.”
Ollie cocks his head, sitting forward. “Yeah? What did you used to do?”
KSpenz finishes eating the cupcake before she says, with some disgusted relish, “Pick my nose and eat it. As a comfort mechanism.”
Ollie raises an eyebrow, one side of his mouth tucked in. “…really,” he says, clearly not quite believing her. “How’s that comforting?” His tone shifts from incredulous to something softer and more concerned when he follows up with, “When was it that you were doing this?”
"How’s chewing on chicken bones comforting?" asks Kate, with the same amount of incredulity, to make a point. She clears her throat, sips her coffee, and backs down, looking sheepish. "I guess…I don’t know, looking at it now, I guess it was something familiar. I was only little, like five or six."
"That was when … after your dad murdered your mom and got sent away?" Ollie picks up his cup, moving the straw around in the plastic lid. "So you were doing the foster family shuffle. That makes sense. Having to find something familiar by taking it from inside yourself." He saws the straw in and out, watching the motions as he adds, "Using something from your own body to feed yourself."
KSpenz lifts an eyebrow at how bluntly Ollie states the facts of her history, but considering it’s all come to the forefront recently again, she’ll let it slide. “Maybe. I guess because I knew that at least I would always be me. That at least that would be the same, and mine, and not anyone else’s to mess with.” She reaches for another of the cupcakes, almost without thinking about it.
Ollie retrieves the paper from that cupcake too. “That’s an impressive sense of self-preservation. Especially for being that young.”
KSpenz laughs a little, picking off small crumbs of cake and eating them one at a time. “I don’t think I had nearly that much self-awareness at the time, Oliver. But I did have an abuela to remind me that I was my own person, which helped.”
Ollie concentrates on chewing his paper for a while, tucking it in the corner of his mouth to say, “It must be strange to try and come to grips with meeting your mom again with you as an adult. Considering what your only other memories of her are like.”
”I remembered fragments. But she’s…she’s so different. Knowing someone as an adult is such a shift in perspective.” Kate smiles a little, sadly, but not overwhelmingly so; wistful, perhaps. “It was painful and strange, but it was right. I’m glad, now, that I got to meet her again.”
"Yeah?" Ollie thinks back to meeting Rosario that first time, the dress she’d been wearing, the way she held herself. "I’m glad too. You got a chance to see where some of what makes you /you/ came from. You favour her way more than your dad."
KSpenz can’t help but smile—a real smile, that brightens her face, her eyes, even if it’s not broad and brilliant. “Do you really think so?” she asks, but she knows it’s true.15:35
Ollie smiles back, putting his fingertips against the table as he moves the paper pellet from one cheek to the other. “Completely,” he says. “I honestly can’t see any resemblance when it comes to your father. Those Vargas genes win out over whatever twisted form of Pratt DNA he had. And let’s hope it all died with him.”
KSpenz thinks of Ramsey’s meta powers, and while her brow furrows a little, she can’t help but wonder if a bit of the catalyst there didn’t come from…elsewhere in his genes, besides the Munro ones. She reaches out and puts a hand over Ollie’s on the table, lightly, so he can shake it off if he doesn’t want it there. “Let’s just hope he stays down this time.”15:41
Ollie doesn’t move his hand away; he turns it on the table so it’s lying on its back, upturned palm gently cupped. “I’m sure that between you and your mom and your abuela’s guidance, there’s no change that fucker’s gonna be able to go anywhere. Just rot in hell like he was supposed to do.”
KSpenz gently strokes her fingertips into Ollie’s callused palm, looking into her coffee mug and then back up at his face. “You’re right,” she says, and wrinkles her nose up again. “I guess this was pretty damn exceptional circumstances. Ollie…”
Ollie gives a soft snort. “Y’think?” he says, missing the ellipses of when she says his name, folding it into the sentiment preceding it. “It’s been really rough on you. I’m glad he’s gone, and I’m glad you got the chance to spend time with your mom, but most of all I’m glad you don’t have to live with this hanging over your head anymore. You can finally rest without looking over your shoulder. That’s the important thing.”
KSpenz nods a little, then clears her throat, because if she doesn’t say it straight up she won’t be able to beat around the bush. “And…Ollie, I want to come home. If that’s okay.”
Ollie looks down at their hands. “It’s your home too, Kate,” he says after a while.
”I know. But I…didn’t know if you wanted me to give you more space.”
Ollie does sit back then, moving his hand. “I never wanted space. That’s never been an optimal way of dealing with things for me.”
KSpenz looks at him, nods slowly. “I know. And…I want to work on dealing with things. Not running from it.” KSpenz clarifies, “That’s…that’s part of why I want to come home.”
Ollie slides his hands into his lap, folding them. “It’s your home too,” he repeats. Then, after a few moments, “You’ve had a lot to deal with.”
"And now it’s over," says Kate, and she has that stubborn cast to her jaw as she reaches back across the table, puts her hand down on it (despite the sticky and the crumbs and the bits of paper), reaching out towards him, at least. "It’s not an excuse."
Ollie flicks his gaze back up to her, from his folded hands. “It’s not gonna be easy,” he blurts, worry lacing his voice. “You’re not gonna like a lot of what I … how I feel. I dunno. You won’t like it. You’ll think I’m being unfair.”
”Then I’ll work through it,” Kate replies, firmly. “I’m in this for the long run.”
—- —- —-
Mari wakes up silently from the worst nightmare yet: the one where she’s happy and carefree, made all the more terrifying because she has to wake up, has to face the monster she’s become, has to— She raises up in the bed, laying above the covers, still in the clothes she was wearing a few hours before, and searches in the dark for her sunglasses. Pushing them onto her face and pushing her body off the bed, she moves towards the door, nearly vampire-like as she cracks it open and peers out at the brightly lit hallway and… “What are you still doing here?” she grunts at Kyle, napping in what looks like a construct lawn chair.
Kyle snorts awake. His efforts to play ball-in-a-cup to remain awake thwarted him; fortunately, Mar’i’s question wakes him right up and he looks up at her. “Well you didn’t let me in your room…” He stands up. “Doing okay? Where you headed? Oh —” Kyle leans back, looks at the mail slot that Roy deposited the medicine through, then tip toes to try and peer inside Mar’i’s quarters, to where it’s likely landed. “Uh, Roy wanted me to let you know he dropped off, er, medicines for you. Somewhere there.”
Mari’s face darkens instantly, but she visibly tries to tamp it down, rubbing her mouth rapidly. “Why the fuck would he—” she slips out, then clamps a hand over her mouth, making blurred noises behind it as she retreats back into the darkness, re-emerging with a bag. She breaks the staple on it, rummaging through it idly, tossing the bottles back into the room, letting them land on the floor, the bed, wherever. “Don’t need this hormone, don’t need that one, don’t need that, nope—” she mutters, finally settling on a small bottle. Mar’i squints, reading the label. “Adebayo put in a prescription for anxiety medication last night for me…” she murmurs, voice tight.
Kyle steps into the doorway, on the bower and watches her sort and toss, tossing most of them. “There’s a medication for anxiety?” He asks, intrigued. “Doctor Adebayo must prescribe that like candy. If…one prescribed candy.” Mari stares at Kyle like he’s grown a third ear, unscrewing the top off the bottle.
Kyle is pretty much used to that stare from Mar’i by now. He gets it a lot from her; and so he catalogues it away and gives a quick, deferring smile.
Mari raises one leg, extending it all the way out until the toe of her sock touches Kyle’s stomach, pushing him across the threshold and back into the hallway while she reads the label. “Take two twice a day, maximum four a day…” she intones, then proceeds to take five.
Kyle steps back out, on the verge of saying something, but then he remembers Jason’s advice. If, indeed, this is a product of the Lazarus Pit borne, then it takes time. If it’s Baby’s doing, then Kyle curses himself inwardly, wishing he could’ve negotiated one last deal with that trio of demi-gods…except wait. He tilts his head, his imagination racing again, considering all of these wild and wonderful ways he could go about to help Mar’i - except. Yeah. No. After what he did to her, the last thing he should do is force her into something else, some sort of ‘quick fix miracle’ even if it might help. That was after all his mindset when he pushed her /through/ the globe. Good intentions. Road to hell. No shit. So he stands there and watches Mar’i. Oh what the hell. “Five? Didn’t you say max four?”
Mari chews the pills, frowning at the bitter taste at first, then at Kyle. “I metabolize faster than fucking puny-ass humans, and I need to be chill. Back the fuck off.” After a moment, she coughs a little, swiping her tongue experimentally across her lips, and then, slipping on shoes, heads down to her original destination hours before: the cafeteria.
Kyle tails after her. “Well Doctor Adebayo would’ve accommodated in the prescription amount for your Tamaranean metabolism, she’s a smart doctor like that,” he counters, but he’s not really trying to argue. There’s no point. “But anyway. Food’s a good idea.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a moment, angry because she hadn’t thought about that, before she stomps off, leading the way to food.
Kyle veers slightly away from Mar’i, if only to slightly walk ahead of her without actually seeming like he’s walking in front of her. Mostly he just wants to case the cafeteria and prepare himself with the roster of who will be there, and potentially prepare for how Mar’i will react. “There’ll be others in the cafeteria,” he observes.
"Fuck ‘em, I want pizza," Mar’i replies in a growl, pulling up the hood of her sweatshirt and shoving her hands into her stomach-pocket.
Kyle nods, strangely approving. Mar’i’s ‘fuck ‘em all’ attitude is, to him, one step up from ‘I don’t want to be near filthy humanses’ attitude. “Fair enough. I think they got, ah, pepperoni, cheese and triple crown today. Oh and the speciality with thipy-pythe horn and feta.
Mari doesn’t reply to Kyle, politely shoving Plastic Man out of the line and into a nearby trashcan and filling up a tray with two slices of each type.
Kyle doesn’t protest in the least to the fate of Plas as he picks up a plate, taking a couple slices of cheese pizza for himself. “I didn’t know you liked thipy-pythe horn.”
Mari sneers at Kyle over a mouthful of pepperoni. “Quelle surprise, you don’t know everything about me.” She angrily demolishes the rest of that slice, reaching for the next.
Kyle nods. “Right of course,” Kyle says, eating his own as a slower pace. “At least the pizza’s good. I haven’t had pizza in ages.”
Ollie is on his way out of the cafeteria and notices Mar’i and Kyle, detouring over to them. “Mar’i,” he says, although the warmth in the greeting gets scaled back as he considers her general demeanour. “I, uh … I’m glad you’re up and about. You doing all right?”
Mari takes a large bite of thipy-pythe and feta to keep from saying whatever it is she clearly wants to say to Kyle, remaining in silence as she chews and swallows methodically. After two more slices, her chewing slows slightly, and she leans over onto her wrist to keep herself upright as she keeps eating. Mar’i doesn’t register Ollie for a moment, then looks up at him, face obscured by her sunglasses. “Why…the fuck…don’t talk…” she mutters, then resumes eating pizza, woozily.
Ollie glances over at Kyle, but he’s not even sure what he’d expect the Lantern to say. Any more than he really understands what Mar’i’s getting at. So he continues doggedly, “I don’t remember much of what happened, and I have no idea what happened to you, but if you need anything, Mar’i, just let me know, okay?”
Kyle looks alarmed, putting his slice down. He sits up, looking up at Queen, then back at the woozy Mar’i. Kyle stands up, talking to Queen now. “I think she’s - what happens when someone takes too much anxiety pills? I mean - non-anxiety pills? Because that’s what she did.”
Ollie looks similarly alarmed. In fact, they resemble nothing more than a couple of very agitated dogs trying to get a sick sheep up and moving. “What? How many did she take and how many was she /supposed/ to take??” He cuts himself off with an angry noise. “Y’know what, save it for the docs. We should get her to Medbay.”
Mari looks up at both of them. “I will…punch you both…” she threatens, coughing on a piece of pepperoni that temporarily gets caught in her throat. Mari adds, belatedly, “…my dick…capiche?”
"No no no nononono don’t touch her—" Kyle says, constructing a wheeling gurney instead, and then using his powers to lift her onto it. Sitting, since she’s choking and if Kyle ends up with Mar’i choking to death on the way to the freaking Medbay because she’s OD’d on anxiety pills, then he might as well just, like, revoke his ‘friendship’ card for life. Kyle pushes the gurney along. "Yeah yeah, dick punch, muy capiche," Kyle says to Mar’i. To Queen, he says, "Where’s Batman?"
Mari coughs until the pepperoni settles down, then frowns at Kyle. “Not grampa…” she whines, then gets out the construct wheelchair, kicking it angrily, nearly toppling herself over.
"I dunno. In Gotham doing Batman things, I’m guessing, what with the Manor back. Probably taking stock of what’s different or still there down in the Cave." Looking at Mar’i, Ollie repeats that part hopefully, for her benefit: "The Manor came back, Mar’i! Just like it was before the Joker blew it up!"
"The - Wayne Manor? It’s back?" Kyle says, momentarily confused until he recalls - his mother’s grave, Zee in Shadowcrest…of course. "Home," he says with a slight smile. One. One small, miniscule thing that Kyle’s done, that actually had some good come out of it. "Well I’ll be," he murmurs to himself, beckoning some medical staff to help Mar’i onto a bed. The last thing she probably wants his his hands grabbing at her, after his progeny spent so long torturing her. "There you go. The Doc’ll be along soon, Mar’i."
Jason is in the corner of the medbay, having his hand bandaged after getting ambushed by doctors when he walked back with Tim. He looks up as Ollie and Kyle bring Mar’i in, offering a little wave in greeting. It occurs to Kyle, that when he asked to send everyone ‘home’, Mar’i ended up…in the impersonal, cold quarters of the Watchtower. His compassion doubles for his friend. Out of the corner of his eye he can notice someone waving, and he looks over. “Todd?” Kyle looks down at the bandage and puts two and two together. “Ah… Hope that didn’t connect with Tim during a brotherly scrap or anything,” he teases.
Jason manages to wave off the doctors, insisting that he doesn’t need pain killers as he approaches Kyle and gives him a light punch in the arm. “I’m not that much of a dick. Just uh… got into another fight with a wall,” he admits a little sheepishly, casually tucking is hand into his pocket to hide the splints.
Mari registers what Ollie is saying, barely, and rolls over onto her side on the bed, reaching over to grab—unsuccessful the first few tries—the separating curtain, dragging it around its track to block herself in. Of course, none of this goes as easily as Mar’i hopes, and she looks drunk and clumsy in the entire process.
Ollie looks over and nods at Jason with a smile, although he stays hovering around Mar’i to make sure she doesn’t fall out of the bed. “Lemme get those,” he offers, and drags the curtain around its track, leaving a space for himself to stand in. “Oh, Mar’i. Girl, when I thought you were dead, it was—” He stops and swallows. “Your grandfather was devastated.”
Mari stares up at Ollie, woozy, but nearly emotionless. “Wasn’t dead…I wasn’t…”"No, and thank god for that, but we thought you were. I don’t know what we would’ve done if it was true." Ollie reaches for her hand then, forgetting to keep a respectful distance, wanting to touch her and make sure she’s really there.
Mari makes a frustrated noise at Ollie, unable to articulate what bothers her so much about his words, and slings an arm over as she attempts to roll over, cracking the nightstand beside her in one swift movement.
Ollie stoops to pick up the pieces of the nightstand, holding them foolishly as he stands there. “I won’t keep you up,” he says. “I just wanted you to know. How happy we are to have you back, Mar’i.”
Mari watches Ollie, face nearly vacant except for tears that start leaking as he continues to talk. “Scared,” she murmurs, “I’m scared.”
"Babygirl." Ollie bundles the broken table pieces against the wall, returning to cup his hand over Mar’i’s shoulder. "You don’t have to go through this alone. I don’t know how long it’s gonna be scary for you, but you don’t have to deal with it all yourself. You have family and friends. We’re all here for you." He tightens his fingers a little, to let Mar’i know he’s there, just in case she can’t feel his hand.
"No," Mar’i sighs, "not really family. Not anymore."
Ollie rubs her shoulder. “Why not? Even if you don’t consider me technically family anymore, you’ve still got your grandfather. That man’s the same no matter what reality he’s in.” Ollie says this last thing with evident fondness, even if it’s wry. “You have family as much as you want us to be your family. God knows it’s not like half of us share blood anyhow.”
Mari watches Ollie’s eyes, not his mouth, and turns to look at the ceiling, slapping her face clumsily as she wipes at her eyes. “I left…pizza.” She hums a note experimentally, then repeats, “I left pizza.”
Ollie digs his handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping the wet trails on Mar’i’s face gently. “You left pizza,” he agrees. “But once the doctors check you out, you can right pizza again.” He repeats, a little more firmly, “And you have plenty of family to share pizza with. As long as you want us, Mar’i, we’re your family.”
Mari rolls onto her side sloppily, trying to maintain some semblance of clarity as she listens to Ollie. She doesn’t believe him—can’t right now, but his words are comforting nonetheless. “Hey,” she murmurs, grabbing his sleeve fiercely when he moves slightly. “Hey…Lian is okay? She’s okay?”
Ollie pauses, pursing his lips. “Well, she kinda has an issue,” he says, carefully. “You wanna know what it is? I can tell you. It has to do with you, so you should know.”
Mari sits up, even though a nurse has entered the comfort of her little curtain-bubble and is trying to look at her pupils with a small flashlight. “Is she okay?” Mar’i asks again, more demanding, maternal instinct overcoming the medicine.18:24
Ollie mentally scolds himself for getting her worked up, and quickly says, “She’s fine, she’s healthy and happy. Except for one thing.” He waits for the nurse to get Mar’i’s readings and then says, “She wants to know where her Marmee is. She misses you.”
Mari stares at Ollie for a moment, before slumping against the bedframe. “I can’t…I can’t fix that…”
Ollie strokes her hair, trying not to be discomfited by the lack of its usual feeling of bounce, of warmth, of vibrancy. “We’ll see about it. Lian’s part of our family and I don’t see why she should be punished just because Roy can’t get his act—” Ollie cuts himself off hard, redirecting his comment. “She needs to see you to be happy, and Lian’s happiness is of paramount importance to me. So we’ll see what we can do.”
Mari sits there, quiet under Ollie’s touch. “I love her,” she murmurs, too doped to sound as sad as the words truly are, before she closes her eyes. “I love them.”
"Yes," is all Ollie can say to that, because as truths go, it’s a simple and irrefutable one. "And even if I can’t do anything to help with restoring all of it, Mar’i, I can make sure that my granddaughter and my posy are able to be in each other’s lives. She could use the stability." It’s because Mar’i’s doped and Ollie’s not sure if she’ll recall this conversation that he adds, gently, "…you could use the stability, too."
Mari hums softly and holds up fingers as the nurse begins the real rigmarole of the checkup, asking how many she took (Five), if she meant to (Mar’i shakes her head fiercely), does she have any nausea or vision trouble (No), before she begins filling out discharge papers, conditional on Mar’i not taking any more medication for 32 hours and not leaving the Watchtower. “You guys…thought I was dead,” Mar’i says, unable to raise her voice to the lilt of a question, as she signs the discharge papers sloppily.
"We didn’t tell Lian," Ollie says hurriedly, in case this is what Mar’i is worried about. "I hadn’t figured out what to tell her yet, so we didn’t, and thank god because here you are safe and … not-dead."
"Okay," Mar’i nods, shrugging her legs off the bed when the nurse walks away. "People were sad," she asks, in another not-question tone.
Ollie repeats and rephrases. “People were fucking devastated.”
Mari thinks about this as best she can now that she’s not too angry to even humor the idea. “That’s so…weird…” she mutters, pushing herself off the bed, wobbly but able to stay upright. “No one cared when the baby showed them to me…”
Ollie harrumphs. “I don’t think that … creature was a reliable source, Mar’i,” he says dryly. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t trying to comfort you or even show you reality. It was only there to upset and disturb us.” He gets her a glass of water. “Believe me, I know from personal experience what it’s like to die and have nobody care. That’s not what happened with you, not one little bit.”
"Yeah, but," Mar’i replies, taking the water and downing it quickly, hoping to soothe the onset of cotton mouth, "sometimes reality is what is scariest."
Ollie shrugs. “I agree with what you’re saying, but its job was to scare and upset you as much as possible. So if reality wasn’t gonna do that, it wouldn’t bother showing you what was true. Just trickery.” He refills her water glass, saying, “Don’t drink this one so fast. Everybody saw different things, so it probably would’ve changed its tune for you saw through its act.”
Mari drinks the next cup of water more slowly, as requested. “Thanks.” Ollie watches her sip the water. “It’s probably hard to internalize all this just yet,” he says, “what with how much time the creature had with you. But I’m not gonna stop reminding you how much you’re loved and wanted here, Mar’i. Till you’re ready for it to sink in.”
Mari chews on the rim of the glass, teeth making a soft squeaking sound, but she avoids Ollie’s eyesight. “It was a baby, yanno,” she murmurs, staring at the curtain that separates them from Kyle and Jason. “I got tortured by a baby. That’s Alanis sadism there.”
Ollie puts his hand on her knee, hoping the weight of it comforts her. “Oh, jesus, sweetheart. That’s—” the cruelty of it, exquisite and vicious, makes anger rise in his throat and Ollie chokes it back. “No wonder you’re all topsy-turvy. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Is it …” Ollie doesn’t quite know what to say, and settles on, “This might not be the right time to bring this up, Mar’i, but god knows if there would be. I just … it’s not the be-all and end-all. Having bio-kids. There’s so many other ways to build families, especially for people like us.”
Mari stares at the curtain as Jason stomps by. “No, I know,” she says simply, following the other Bat down the hallway with her eyes, “Roy and I were going to adopt.”
Kyle watches Jason leave, wanting to feel bad, but somehow not feeling it. He was right to put the decision back into Jason’s hands. He wasn’t going to be arrogant enough to think he knows anything more or better than his friends, especially the ones he cares so deeply for. He was right. Right? Kyle rubs his face and looks back to the closed curtain, a personal space for Mar’i and Queen, and a conversation that was still ongoing. Kyle constructs a chair, and sits down, holding his head in his hands as he leans forward.
Ollie decides to leave that one alone. “Okay,” he says. “As long as you don’t feel like it’s some failing on your part.” Ollie takes her glass from her and has some of her water, refilling it as he says, “…when Dinah lost the baby, she apologized to me. Over and over and over, like it was her fault. That was one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.” Even thinking about it now makes his throat constrict, the remembered sound of her voice, lost and directionless.
"That’s sad," Mar’i replies, forcing a little sympathy into her voice enough though the anxiety meds are coursing full-force. "That’s really sad. And now Bruce. That’s sad."
Ollie closes his eyes for a moment, ruthlessly shoving down his own memory of what the creature (the baby, the BABY) had been before he nods, licking his lips. “It is,” he agrees. “Very sad. All of the people I love have had to deal with a lot of sadness, Dinah and Bruce, and Kate and you, Mia and Jason … sometimes it seems like sadness is never finished with you. But that doesn’t mean you deserve it, any of it. You’re good people.”
"You’re good people, too," Mar’i intones, trying to sound sincere, "I just don’t get—" She moves past the curtain, staring at Kyle blandly as she spots him in his construct time-out chair. Or whatever it is. "You want me to beat up Todd?" she asks.
Kyle looks up, then stands up and comes over, giving Queen a slight nod. “Todd’s cool,” he says with a smile. “It’s all good. Are - ” Kyle looks at Queen, then back at Mar’i. “How’re you feeling?”
”Drunk, but less—” Mar’i mimes puking. “Not gonna die.”
"After all that pizza you ate it’d suck if you couldn’t keep it down," Kyle tries to joke, but it’s sort of in poor taste. "Anyway, I heard the nurse say you gotta stay on the Watchtower for…twenty-four hours? Is it?"
Mari holds up three fingers, then two.
Ollie listens to this exchange for a while, then interjects, “Looks like Rayner here’s gotcha covered. I’m gonna head home for now, but I’ll come back and see you tomorrow, okay?”
Mari looks over at Ollie and nods. “Okay. Sorry if I’m bitchy then.”
Ollie nods. “Water off a duck’s back,” he assures her, and leans in to peck Mar’i on the cheek. He gives Kyle a short tip of the fingers to his forehead, then trots off.
Kyle watches Queen leave and then turns back to Mar’i. “Once you’re cleared medically, you…” Kyle scratches his scruffy chin, then thinks of something. “…you can come stay with me, get out of this place. Living here for too long is…it ain’t good.”
Mari shrugs. “I like it. Besides,” she glances off in the direction Jason went, “you’re going to live with him, right? No gracias, hermano.”
Kyle shakes his head. “No. I’m not gonna room with him. What d’you like about it?”
Mari thinks about this as she moves towards the lounge. “Sounds like a bad breakup,” she comments idly, before continuing on: “I like that there’s a bell that rings at 8 am every morning. I like that there’s free food. I like that…I like that I get forced to see people, even if I don’t want to.”
Kyle walks with her. “Damn. Well….those are all good reasons….” Kyle shuts his eyes momentarily, shaking his head. C’mon Rayner… “Yeah, never mind. What was I thinking. You do what you think is best for you. If you think living here is the bomb, then good, good for you.”
"I’m not rejecting you," Mar’i adds, finding a comfy seat to flop over in, before curling up on herself. "I just don’t think you realize what a hassle living with me is. Besides, I’m sure you and Todd will patch it up."
"I shouldn’t have asked," Kyle states, and then laughs suddenly. "I mean it’s self-preservation innit? And OBVIOUSLY I never learn. I just keep asking you, asking you for things and then getting you inevitably get hurt. Like. What the hell, right? I shouldn’t have asked."
Mari stares at Kyle, eyes widening. “Huh?”
Kyle looks down at his hands and the ring. “I’m saying you’re right to not trust me. After the non-stop bullshit I put you through. You deserve a better person to consider your friend.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a long time, then says finally, “Zee has to be totally 100% cool with it.”
Kyle laughs again. “Right? I mean, she must - she’s magical, man, she must have like all these…” Kyle stops and looks at Mar’i, frowning. “Wait. Why aren’t you telling me off? For being…for something? Don’t you wanna tell me off?” Kyle looks at her and then realizes. “Oh. The anxiety pills. Non-anxiety pills.”
Mari looks back at Kyle, mirroring his frown. “What the fuck are you talking about? Make sure Zee is okay with me staying with you.”
Kyle stares at Mar’i. “What? I mean - I mean of course. Of course she’d be okay with…” He turns towards Mar’i, looking at her now. “I just - I really shouldn’t be imposing on you like this, I mean, you should be able to do whatever you want. I just wanna…I just wanna… after what my - my - the malformed fetus did to you, I just wanna —”
"Shut up about your fetus," Mar’i grunts, angry peeking out from underneath the drugs. "You’ve already done more for me as my friend that that stupid fetus could ever do to me in three days. I’ll be fine. And I swear to X’Hal, I’ll sleep on your couch if you try to rescind your offer now."
Kyle is silent for a long time. Then, he says, “The Child. The Child took Baby away.” Kyle looks down at his hands again. “I know….I know you hated her and you have every right to hate her. I know she hurt you a million times over, and I know that - that if I had her, even for the few months that Ra’s turned her into the monster she was - if I could’ve been her daddy, I know she would’ve been…” Kyle shuts his eyes and shakes his head hard. “People like me don’t deserve children. I should never be a father. Not after this.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a moment. “You never saw what she really looked like, did you?”
Kyle doesn’t stop staring down at his hands. He speaks dully. “Lemme guess - she was a hideous warped evil monster of some sort for real? She was horrible and hateable. Right?”
Mari watches him carefully. “She wasn’t even a full brain. She was like…” Mar’i motions at her head, “the right hemisphere plus just a little of the left. She was all creativity and no language. You couldn’t have raised her even if you wanted to. She would’ve never been a human.” She pulls her legs up closer to her body. “I hate what she became. And what she did to me. But I could never hate a baby, especially not your baby. You’ll be a good dad if the time ever comes. And X’Hal knows if it’s with Zee, then we’ll have another demi-god to deal with. But at least this one would get to have love and support from day one.”
Kyle starts to cry when Mar’i says the words ‘full brain’.
Mari leans over, instantly regretting telling him that. “I mean that in a good way. I mean she got the best part of you, even if she didn’t get the rest of what she would’ve needed. But she would’ve needed a lot more than you could’ve given her. Constructs are no replacement for flesh and blood.” She tenderly places her hand atop his head, waiting to see if he flinches or pushes her away.
"My baby…my baby…" Kyle says into his hands, his voice cracked and broken as he rocks himself back and forth. It’s all coming out - ever since he’d learned that Talia was once pregnant, all of his feelings he’d suppressed when he learned it was born dead - all of it. He doesn’t pull away from Mar’i’s touch; in fact, he leans into it. "I’m sorry…poor little baby, mi niña, mo leanbh, I’m so sorry…"
Mari is, despite the meds, ready for this. For weeks, Mar’i’s been waiting for someone, anyone to let her close enough to mother them, let her play a role that she thrives in. So she reaches over, strong enough to pull Kyle to her, molding him against her in the chair. “Okay,” she murmurs, kissing his hair, “okay. You deserve to feel things too, sweetheart.”
Kyle doesn’t realize, until right at this moment when a familiar comforting woman-not-Zee cradles him in her arms, just how starved he is for the affection of a mother. His entire life was just him and his mother, and her death meant he’d packed that childhood need of a mother’s comfort. He had simply…decided to not feel distress. But this is all too much, now. He can’t hold it back anymore, and Kyle knows Mar’i is his peer but her voice is consoling and she’s offering him maternal love and Kyle pushes close, curling a hand around her upper arm and pushing his face against her collarbone. He can’t say anything, he just stays curled against Mar’i, a warm safe friend to weep against, until he has no more tears left.
Mari keeps her arms wrapped around Kyle—one hand at the crown of his head, the other against his shoulders—as he cries, eventually leaning in more, curling them into a ball. She rests her cheek against the crown of his head, moving both arms around his shoulders, and squeezes him tight. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmurs softly, rubbing his back. “You don’t have to always be strong and happy and unaffected by everything. You’ve had a lot of bad things happen to you, too.”
Kyle constructs a hanky and wipes the tears and snot off his face, not really caring that he feels like a mewling child. Some part of him is telling him he should pull away now, give Mar’i her space, but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to. She’s warm and comforting, so comforting. “You…you—” He stammers, but then he quiets again, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m - I’m okay. And - and Baby’s okay too. The Child has her now.” His voice is gravelly from all the crying. “Mar’i, the Ch - The Child…? The Child said to tell you ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’.” Kyle finally pulls away, wiping his face hard so he can look at Mar’i, and hold her face in his palm. “I’m okay. You’re…you’re…” Kyle’s face crumples again, but he pushes it back and smooths it over. “Thank you, Mar’i.”
Mari ’s own face changes at the message from The Child, sinking into a sadness of its own, but that’s quickly dulled by the medication. “You’re welcome. You’re a good person. You deserve to feel better.”
Kyle nods and then gives a sheepish grunt of a laugh, that sounds all stuffy. He’s still edged-up close to Mar’i, unwilling to get away from her closeness just yet. “I should be telling you that. How much - how much you mean to me and - and - and - it’s gonna be okay.” He looks up at her, reaching for her hand. “It is, right? It’s gonna be okay?”
Mari lets Kyle take her hand, nodding. “It’ll all be okay. It’ll be just fine.”
Kyle closes his eyes and nods. He then settles back in the couch, leaning his head against her shoulder. “Thank you.”
Mari leans back too. “Thank you for being my friend. Through everything.”
"We’ll help each other out and get through this," Kyle says, feeling that peaceful sort of sad euphoria that one can get after a really hard cry.
"Mmm-hmm," Mar’i replies, growing a little sleepy as she leans her head on top of Kyle’s. "Yep, yep."
Kyle closes his eyes, soothed by the feeling of Mar’i’s soft hair cascading about his ears. “Mmm-hmm,” he echoes her, as he drifts off as well.
———————————-
meanwhile, elsewhere in the Watchtower….
"Something about Kyle is off, or something is off between the two of you?" Zee asks Jason, a little quieter, her tone softer than it had been on her previous question. "Should I try and talk to him?"
"Between us, I guess," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "All I got out of him was that he’s confused about something, then he pretty much told me to fuck off." Okay, so that’s not exactly close to what Kyle said, but Jason’s brain has a way of warping things to the worst possible scenario. "Maybe, he’ll probably talk to you."
Zee grabs at her mocha as soon as the machine spits it out to near perfection, “I doubt he said that.” she comments gently, “So what were you talking about when you two got upset? Because that’s what this sounds like.” She couldn’t just go charging to Kyle saying that he upset Jason without a solid cause, at least according to the younger man.
Jason can’t really deny that, so he doesn’t. “About the living together thing.” He lets out a breath and decides to give her the whole story. Well, most of it. “Cause other options have been coming up, but I didn’t really wanna take ‘em, except… it still feels like he’s not okay hanging around me, and if he’s not okay with me being around, us living together is just gonna make it worse. So I was trying to ask about it, y’know to try and figure out if he’d still be okay with living with me, but he just kept saying it was my choice over and over again. Finally got him to admit that he was confused, but then he just shut down completely.”
"Okay. Okay…" she nods, listening to Jason intently. "So he said he’s confused, and you think he’s not okay being around you. Okay." Zee taps her fingers against her cup, thinking, "Did you tell him about being attracted to him? Is that what this is about? Because if it’s not that, I’d just chalk it up to everyone still feeling frayed."
Jason goes bright red at the question and frantically shakes his head. “No, course I didn’t tell him that. I-I mean, okay, so sometimes I kinda jokingly flirt at him, but that’s never made things weird like this. It’s only been weird since the day when Shadowcrest showed up in the park.” He pauses, thinking back to that day. “But… you might kinda have the right idea,” he admits slowly. “I was just trying to calm him down, and I sorta kissed him on the forehead. Didn’t even think about it, it’s just what my mom used to do for me when I was having a bad day. Thought it’d help, but… that’s when everything got fucked up…”
Zee sets her cup down, freeing up both hands to smooth over Jason’s shoulders, palms are still warm with the residual heat from her mocha. “I remember him being upset with you, after I got hurt, and he had no reason to be angry with you. He was just…spiraling after everything with Mar’i I think. But, you might be onto something with the kiss thing. I know it was innocent, but.” she shrugs, giving Jason’s shoulders a quick pulse before letting her arms drop back to her sides, “If he’s been feeling confused, he might not know what to do with it. I don’t know.” Crossing her arms over her chest, Zee tries to think of how to approach the subject with Kyle, “I feel like the only way he’s gonna talk about it, is if I pester him about having a crush on you too,” lightbulb, “Yeah that’ll do it.”
Jason is still too down in the dumps about everything to let himself feel better, but the warmth from Zee’s hands eases a little of the tension away. “I swear I wasn’t trying to—what?!” He cuts himself off abruptly, eyes going wide as he fully absorbs Zee’s suggestion. “O-okay, that’s a good plan, but what about not doing that, I think that’d work real well too.”
Zee nods, completely hooked by this lightbulb, “Nooo, no I think it’s pretty good. I think it’s pretty good! It’s entirely me bringing my feeling tot he table, nothing about you, I’m not making any of this about how you feel about us. It’ll be me and Kyle. Our feelings okay. Not that your’s don’t matter- they do! Just. It’s touchy, I think.”
Jason groans and presses his face into his hands. Still, it’s not like he’s coming up with a whole bunch of brilliant ideas to try instead of that. “Fine, but just… maybe leave out the part where I have crushes on you two?”
Zee pulls her fingers across her lips, sealing them shut, “Not a word, I won’t remind him.”
Jason lets out a breath and moves to lean back against the wall. “Okay. Okay, try your plan. I just… I just wanna be able to talk to him again, y’know? I’ll try anything.”
"I know you do. I know." she nods, turning away from Jason, looking at the entrance to the cafeteria, as if Kyle is due to enter at any minute. He’s not of course. Zee has no idea where he even is, monitoring something in space if she had to guess. Regardless, Zee starts imagining him arriving, holds her one sided conversation, takes his hand, gets to the bottom of his confusion. "I worried that he could start closing up on me too," she admits softly, "After everything with Baby. Things reopening with Talia." As if they’d ever been properly resolved in the first place.
Zee finishes off her mocha, and dissolves the cup in her hands, “You tell Kyle things you haven’t told anyone else?” her brow raises in surprise, “I don’t think I realize how close you two are.”
Jason knows where Kyle is, or where he was anyway, but isn’t about to tell her, not really eager to get to the part where Zee tests out her crush theory. Swallowing thickly, he nods. “Yeah, he needs people right now… think we all do. I’ve told him stuff I’ve never told anyone else, wanna be there for him to do that too, y’know?”
Jason glances away a little sheepishly as he nods. “Yeah, he just… I-I dunno, he makes me feel less scared about talking about stuff,” he says slowly, still trying to puzzle out why he finds Kyle so easy to talk to at times. “But… I don’t think it goes both ways, think I feel closer to him than he does to me.”
"Are you saying that because that’s what it’s always felt like, or because of what’s happening between you two lately?"
”I… I dunno. Maybe, both? Just sorta… haven’t thought about it too much till now, but just kinda looking back…”
KSpenz gets some news she wasn’t expecting, and is therefore deep in thought as she absentmindedly heads towards Coffee, Nearest Available (it’s like she has a tracker in her head).
Ollie has at this point eaten the frosting off of three cupcakes and has almost finished his milkshake. He’s a little bit nauseated but a lot jumped up on sugar when he sees Kate come in with coffee, and waves at her, pink staining his fingertips.
KSpenz catches the fluttering pinkness out of the corner of her eye, and it’s odd enough to catch her attention and divert her Ollie’s way. She appraises the carnage of de-frostinged cupcakes and nearly finished extra-large milkshake—just looking at it makes her teeth ache. Then, she plops down across from him, forgetting she shouldn’t do that and hissing through gritted teeth. Even so, she manages to reach out for one of the bare cupcakes and starts to unpeel it. “You’re sweet already,” she quips.
Ollie blinks at her, unprepared for that quip and honestly, not quite sure how to take it. “You know who you’re talking to, right?” he finally says, taking the peeled cupcake paper and slowly chewing it into his mouth, where he continues to chew all the cake flavour out of it.
"You just don’t think you are." Kate watches him chew and makes a face, wrinkling up her nose. "Seriously, though, Ollie…please tell me it’s not some kinda bug alien possessing you and you’re going to start demanding," she puts on a growly stilted voice, “‘sugar. in water. more.’ Or something."
KSpenz notes, “Because I don’t know how well I could cope with something wearing an Ollie suit, and Agent K coming in here with a Neuralizer…”
Ollie shakes his head, snorting. “I can’t keep up with your pop culture references sometimes,” he says. “What is that, Men in Black? Anyhow, no, don’t worry — just 100% prime USDA-grade Ollie in here. I just crave a lot of sugar sometimes. After going through a fuckton of craziness.” He puts his fingers to his mouth, extracting a small throroughly masticated pellet of cupcake paper. “And I used to chew paper when I was little,” he adds, like he’s just remembered. “When I didn’t have any stored up dried-out chicken bones to suck on.”
KSpenz grimaces at the pellet and pushes a napkin across the table. “Yes, Men in Black,” she says, but she’s not certain enough of her footing to tease him more about it. Not yet. She starts to eat the (slightly damp from Ollie eating the top off) cupcake—it’s not bad. “Dried out chicken bones…I guess it’s better than what I used to do as a kid. Sort of.”
Ollie cocks his head, sitting forward. “Yeah? What did you used to do?”
KSpenz finishes eating the cupcake before she says, with some disgusted relish, “Pick my nose and eat it. As a comfort mechanism.”
Ollie raises an eyebrow, one side of his mouth tucked in. “…really,” he says, clearly not quite believing her. “How’s that comforting?” His tone shifts from incredulous to something softer and more concerned when he follows up with, “When was it that you were doing this?”
"How’s chewing on chicken bones comforting?" asks Kate, with the same amount of incredulity, to make a point. She clears her throat, sips her coffee, and backs down, looking sheepish. "I guess…I don’t know, looking at it now, I guess it was something familiar. I was only little, like five or six."
"That was when … after your dad murdered your mom and got sent away?" Ollie picks up his cup, moving the straw around in the plastic lid. "So you were doing the foster family shuffle. That makes sense. Having to find something familiar by taking it from inside yourself." He saws the straw in and out, watching the motions as he adds, "Using something from your own body to feed yourself."
KSpenz lifts an eyebrow at how bluntly Ollie states the facts of her history, but considering it’s all come to the forefront recently again, she’ll let it slide. “Maybe. I guess because I knew that at least I would always be me. That at least that would be the same, and mine, and not anyone else’s to mess with.” She reaches for another of the cupcakes, almost without thinking about it.
Ollie retrieves the paper from that cupcake too. “That’s an impressive sense of self-preservation. Especially for being that young.”
KSpenz laughs a little, picking off small crumbs of cake and eating them one at a time. “I don’t think I had nearly that much self-awareness at the time, Oliver. But I did have an abuela to remind me that I was my own person, which helped.”
Ollie concentrates on chewing his paper for a while, tucking it in the corner of his mouth to say, “It must be strange to try and come to grips with meeting your mom again with you as an adult. Considering what your only other memories of her are like.”
”I remembered fragments. But she’s…she’s so different. Knowing someone as an adult is such a shift in perspective.” Kate smiles a little, sadly, but not overwhelmingly so; wistful, perhaps. “It was painful and strange, but it was right. I’m glad, now, that I got to meet her again.”
"Yeah?" Ollie thinks back to meeting Rosario that first time, the dress she’d been wearing, the way she held herself. "I’m glad too. You got a chance to see where some of what makes you /you/ came from. You favour her way more than your dad."
KSpenz can’t help but smile—a real smile, that brightens her face, her eyes, even if it’s not broad and brilliant. “Do you really think so?” she asks, but she knows it’s true.15:35
Ollie smiles back, putting his fingertips against the table as he moves the paper pellet from one cheek to the other. “Completely,” he says. “I honestly can’t see any resemblance when it comes to your father. Those Vargas genes win out over whatever twisted form of Pratt DNA he had. And let’s hope it all died with him.”
KSpenz thinks of Ramsey’s meta powers, and while her brow furrows a little, she can’t help but wonder if a bit of the catalyst there didn’t come from…elsewhere in his genes, besides the Munro ones. She reaches out and puts a hand over Ollie’s on the table, lightly, so he can shake it off if he doesn’t want it there. “Let’s just hope he stays down this time.”15:41
Ollie doesn’t move his hand away; he turns it on the table so it’s lying on its back, upturned palm gently cupped. “I’m sure that between you and your mom and your abuela’s guidance, there’s no change that fucker’s gonna be able to go anywhere. Just rot in hell like he was supposed to do.”
KSpenz gently strokes her fingertips into Ollie’s callused palm, looking into her coffee mug and then back up at his face. “You’re right,” she says, and wrinkles her nose up again. “I guess this was pretty damn exceptional circumstances. Ollie…”
Ollie gives a soft snort. “Y’think?” he says, missing the ellipses of when she says his name, folding it into the sentiment preceding it. “It’s been really rough on you. I’m glad he’s gone, and I’m glad you got the chance to spend time with your mom, but most of all I’m glad you don’t have to live with this hanging over your head anymore. You can finally rest without looking over your shoulder. That’s the important thing.”
KSpenz nods a little, then clears her throat, because if she doesn’t say it straight up she won’t be able to beat around the bush. “And…Ollie, I want to come home. If that’s okay.”
Ollie looks down at their hands. “It’s your home too, Kate,” he says after a while.
”I know. But I…didn’t know if you wanted me to give you more space.”
Ollie does sit back then, moving his hand. “I never wanted space. That’s never been an optimal way of dealing with things for me.”
KSpenz looks at him, nods slowly. “I know. And…I want to work on dealing with things. Not running from it.” KSpenz clarifies, “That’s…that’s part of why I want to come home.”
Ollie slides his hands into his lap, folding them. “It’s your home too,” he repeats. Then, after a few moments, “You’ve had a lot to deal with.”
"And now it’s over," says Kate, and she has that stubborn cast to her jaw as she reaches back across the table, puts her hand down on it (despite the sticky and the crumbs and the bits of paper), reaching out towards him, at least. "It’s not an excuse."
Ollie flicks his gaze back up to her, from his folded hands. “It’s not gonna be easy,” he blurts, worry lacing his voice. “You’re not gonna like a lot of what I … how I feel. I dunno. You won’t like it. You’ll think I’m being unfair.”
”Then I’ll work through it,” Kate replies, firmly. “I’m in this for the long run.”
—- —- —-
Mari wakes up silently from the worst nightmare yet: the one where she’s happy and carefree, made all the more terrifying because she has to wake up, has to face the monster she’s become, has to— She raises up in the bed, laying above the covers, still in the clothes she was wearing a few hours before, and searches in the dark for her sunglasses. Pushing them onto her face and pushing her body off the bed, she moves towards the door, nearly vampire-like as she cracks it open and peers out at the brightly lit hallway and… “What are you still doing here?” she grunts at Kyle, napping in what looks like a construct lawn chair.
Kyle snorts awake. His efforts to play ball-in-a-cup to remain awake thwarted him; fortunately, Mar’i’s question wakes him right up and he looks up at her. “Well you didn’t let me in your room…” He stands up. “Doing okay? Where you headed? Oh —” Kyle leans back, looks at the mail slot that Roy deposited the medicine through, then tip toes to try and peer inside Mar’i’s quarters, to where it’s likely landed. “Uh, Roy wanted me to let you know he dropped off, er, medicines for you. Somewhere there.”
Mari’s face darkens instantly, but she visibly tries to tamp it down, rubbing her mouth rapidly. “Why the fuck would he—” she slips out, then clamps a hand over her mouth, making blurred noises behind it as she retreats back into the darkness, re-emerging with a bag. She breaks the staple on it, rummaging through it idly, tossing the bottles back into the room, letting them land on the floor, the bed, wherever. “Don’t need this hormone, don’t need that one, don’t need that, nope—” she mutters, finally settling on a small bottle. Mar’i squints, reading the label. “Adebayo put in a prescription for anxiety medication last night for me…” she murmurs, voice tight.
Kyle steps into the doorway, on the bower and watches her sort and toss, tossing most of them. “There’s a medication for anxiety?” He asks, intrigued. “Doctor Adebayo must prescribe that like candy. If…one prescribed candy.” Mari stares at Kyle like he’s grown a third ear, unscrewing the top off the bottle.
Kyle is pretty much used to that stare from Mar’i by now. He gets it a lot from her; and so he catalogues it away and gives a quick, deferring smile.
Mari raises one leg, extending it all the way out until the toe of her sock touches Kyle’s stomach, pushing him across the threshold and back into the hallway while she reads the label. “Take two twice a day, maximum four a day…” she intones, then proceeds to take five.
Kyle steps back out, on the verge of saying something, but then he remembers Jason’s advice. If, indeed, this is a product of the Lazarus Pit borne, then it takes time. If it’s Baby’s doing, then Kyle curses himself inwardly, wishing he could’ve negotiated one last deal with that trio of demi-gods…except wait. He tilts his head, his imagination racing again, considering all of these wild and wonderful ways he could go about to help Mar’i - except. Yeah. No. After what he did to her, the last thing he should do is force her into something else, some sort of ‘quick fix miracle’ even if it might help. That was after all his mindset when he pushed her /through/ the globe. Good intentions. Road to hell. No shit. So he stands there and watches Mar’i. Oh what the hell. “Five? Didn’t you say max four?”
Mari chews the pills, frowning at the bitter taste at first, then at Kyle. “I metabolize faster than fucking puny-ass humans, and I need to be chill. Back the fuck off.” After a moment, she coughs a little, swiping her tongue experimentally across her lips, and then, slipping on shoes, heads down to her original destination hours before: the cafeteria.
Kyle tails after her. “Well Doctor Adebayo would’ve accommodated in the prescription amount for your Tamaranean metabolism, she’s a smart doctor like that,” he counters, but he’s not really trying to argue. There’s no point. “But anyway. Food’s a good idea.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a moment, angry because she hadn’t thought about that, before she stomps off, leading the way to food.
Kyle veers slightly away from Mar’i, if only to slightly walk ahead of her without actually seeming like he’s walking in front of her. Mostly he just wants to case the cafeteria and prepare himself with the roster of who will be there, and potentially prepare for how Mar’i will react. “There’ll be others in the cafeteria,” he observes.
"Fuck ‘em, I want pizza," Mar’i replies in a growl, pulling up the hood of her sweatshirt and shoving her hands into her stomach-pocket.
Kyle nods, strangely approving. Mar’i’s ‘fuck ‘em all’ attitude is, to him, one step up from ‘I don’t want to be near filthy humanses’ attitude. “Fair enough. I think they got, ah, pepperoni, cheese and triple crown today. Oh and the speciality with thipy-pythe horn and feta.
Mari doesn’t reply to Kyle, politely shoving Plastic Man out of the line and into a nearby trashcan and filling up a tray with two slices of each type.
Kyle doesn’t protest in the least to the fate of Plas as he picks up a plate, taking a couple slices of cheese pizza for himself. “I didn’t know you liked thipy-pythe horn.”
Mari sneers at Kyle over a mouthful of pepperoni. “Quelle surprise, you don’t know everything about me.” She angrily demolishes the rest of that slice, reaching for the next.
Kyle nods. “Right of course,” Kyle says, eating his own as a slower pace. “At least the pizza’s good. I haven’t had pizza in ages.”
Ollie is on his way out of the cafeteria and notices Mar’i and Kyle, detouring over to them. “Mar’i,” he says, although the warmth in the greeting gets scaled back as he considers her general demeanour. “I, uh … I’m glad you’re up and about. You doing all right?”
Mari takes a large bite of thipy-pythe and feta to keep from saying whatever it is she clearly wants to say to Kyle, remaining in silence as she chews and swallows methodically. After two more slices, her chewing slows slightly, and she leans over onto her wrist to keep herself upright as she keeps eating. Mar’i doesn’t register Ollie for a moment, then looks up at him, face obscured by her sunglasses. “Why…the fuck…don’t talk…” she mutters, then resumes eating pizza, woozily.
Ollie glances over at Kyle, but he’s not even sure what he’d expect the Lantern to say. Any more than he really understands what Mar’i’s getting at. So he continues doggedly, “I don’t remember much of what happened, and I have no idea what happened to you, but if you need anything, Mar’i, just let me know, okay?”
Kyle looks alarmed, putting his slice down. He sits up, looking up at Queen, then back at the woozy Mar’i. Kyle stands up, talking to Queen now. “I think she’s - what happens when someone takes too much anxiety pills? I mean - non-anxiety pills? Because that’s what she did.”
Ollie looks similarly alarmed. In fact, they resemble nothing more than a couple of very agitated dogs trying to get a sick sheep up and moving. “What? How many did she take and how many was she /supposed/ to take??” He cuts himself off with an angry noise. “Y’know what, save it for the docs. We should get her to Medbay.”
Mari looks up at both of them. “I will…punch you both…” she threatens, coughing on a piece of pepperoni that temporarily gets caught in her throat. Mari adds, belatedly, “…my dick…capiche?”
"No no no nononono don’t touch her—" Kyle says, constructing a wheeling gurney instead, and then using his powers to lift her onto it. Sitting, since she’s choking and if Kyle ends up with Mar’i choking to death on the way to the freaking Medbay because she’s OD’d on anxiety pills, then he might as well just, like, revoke his ‘friendship’ card for life. Kyle pushes the gurney along. "Yeah yeah, dick punch, muy capiche," Kyle says to Mar’i. To Queen, he says, "Where’s Batman?"
Mari coughs until the pepperoni settles down, then frowns at Kyle. “Not grampa…” she whines, then gets out the construct wheelchair, kicking it angrily, nearly toppling herself over.
"I dunno. In Gotham doing Batman things, I’m guessing, what with the Manor back. Probably taking stock of what’s different or still there down in the Cave." Looking at Mar’i, Ollie repeats that part hopefully, for her benefit: "The Manor came back, Mar’i! Just like it was before the Joker blew it up!"
"The - Wayne Manor? It’s back?" Kyle says, momentarily confused until he recalls - his mother’s grave, Zee in Shadowcrest…of course. "Home," he says with a slight smile. One. One small, miniscule thing that Kyle’s done, that actually had some good come out of it. "Well I’ll be," he murmurs to himself, beckoning some medical staff to help Mar’i onto a bed. The last thing she probably wants his his hands grabbing at her, after his progeny spent so long torturing her. "There you go. The Doc’ll be along soon, Mar’i."
Jason is in the corner of the medbay, having his hand bandaged after getting ambushed by doctors when he walked back with Tim. He looks up as Ollie and Kyle bring Mar’i in, offering a little wave in greeting. It occurs to Kyle, that when he asked to send everyone ‘home’, Mar’i ended up…in the impersonal, cold quarters of the Watchtower. His compassion doubles for his friend. Out of the corner of his eye he can notice someone waving, and he looks over. “Todd?” Kyle looks down at the bandage and puts two and two together. “Ah… Hope that didn’t connect with Tim during a brotherly scrap or anything,” he teases.
Jason manages to wave off the doctors, insisting that he doesn’t need pain killers as he approaches Kyle and gives him a light punch in the arm. “I’m not that much of a dick. Just uh… got into another fight with a wall,” he admits a little sheepishly, casually tucking is hand into his pocket to hide the splints.
Mari registers what Ollie is saying, barely, and rolls over onto her side on the bed, reaching over to grab—unsuccessful the first few tries—the separating curtain, dragging it around its track to block herself in. Of course, none of this goes as easily as Mar’i hopes, and she looks drunk and clumsy in the entire process.
Ollie looks over and nods at Jason with a smile, although he stays hovering around Mar’i to make sure she doesn’t fall out of the bed. “Lemme get those,” he offers, and drags the curtain around its track, leaving a space for himself to stand in. “Oh, Mar’i. Girl, when I thought you were dead, it was—” He stops and swallows. “Your grandfather was devastated.”
Mari stares up at Ollie, woozy, but nearly emotionless. “Wasn’t dead…I wasn’t…”"No, and thank god for that, but we thought you were. I don’t know what we would’ve done if it was true." Ollie reaches for her hand then, forgetting to keep a respectful distance, wanting to touch her and make sure she’s really there.
Mari makes a frustrated noise at Ollie, unable to articulate what bothers her so much about his words, and slings an arm over as she attempts to roll over, cracking the nightstand beside her in one swift movement.
Ollie stoops to pick up the pieces of the nightstand, holding them foolishly as he stands there. “I won’t keep you up,” he says. “I just wanted you to know. How happy we are to have you back, Mar’i.”
Mari watches Ollie, face nearly vacant except for tears that start leaking as he continues to talk. “Scared,” she murmurs, “I’m scared.”
"Babygirl." Ollie bundles the broken table pieces against the wall, returning to cup his hand over Mar’i’s shoulder. "You don’t have to go through this alone. I don’t know how long it’s gonna be scary for you, but you don’t have to deal with it all yourself. You have family and friends. We’re all here for you." He tightens his fingers a little, to let Mar’i know he’s there, just in case she can’t feel his hand.
"No," Mar’i sighs, "not really family. Not anymore."
Ollie rubs her shoulder. “Why not? Even if you don’t consider me technically family anymore, you’ve still got your grandfather. That man’s the same no matter what reality he’s in.” Ollie says this last thing with evident fondness, even if it’s wry. “You have family as much as you want us to be your family. God knows it’s not like half of us share blood anyhow.”
Mari watches Ollie’s eyes, not his mouth, and turns to look at the ceiling, slapping her face clumsily as she wipes at her eyes. “I left…pizza.” She hums a note experimentally, then repeats, “I left pizza.”
Ollie digs his handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping the wet trails on Mar’i’s face gently. “You left pizza,” he agrees. “But once the doctors check you out, you can right pizza again.” He repeats, a little more firmly, “And you have plenty of family to share pizza with. As long as you want us, Mar’i, we’re your family.”
Mari rolls onto her side sloppily, trying to maintain some semblance of clarity as she listens to Ollie. She doesn’t believe him—can’t right now, but his words are comforting nonetheless. “Hey,” she murmurs, grabbing his sleeve fiercely when he moves slightly. “Hey…Lian is okay? She’s okay?”
Ollie pauses, pursing his lips. “Well, she kinda has an issue,” he says, carefully. “You wanna know what it is? I can tell you. It has to do with you, so you should know.”
Mari sits up, even though a nurse has entered the comfort of her little curtain-bubble and is trying to look at her pupils with a small flashlight. “Is she okay?” Mar’i asks again, more demanding, maternal instinct overcoming the medicine.18:24
Ollie mentally scolds himself for getting her worked up, and quickly says, “She’s fine, she’s healthy and happy. Except for one thing.” He waits for the nurse to get Mar’i’s readings and then says, “She wants to know where her Marmee is. She misses you.”
Mari stares at Ollie for a moment, before slumping against the bedframe. “I can’t…I can’t fix that…”
Ollie strokes her hair, trying not to be discomfited by the lack of its usual feeling of bounce, of warmth, of vibrancy. “We’ll see about it. Lian’s part of our family and I don’t see why she should be punished just because Roy can’t get his act—” Ollie cuts himself off hard, redirecting his comment. “She needs to see you to be happy, and Lian’s happiness is of paramount importance to me. So we’ll see what we can do.”
Mari sits there, quiet under Ollie’s touch. “I love her,” she murmurs, too doped to sound as sad as the words truly are, before she closes her eyes. “I love them.”
"Yes," is all Ollie can say to that, because as truths go, it’s a simple and irrefutable one. "And even if I can’t do anything to help with restoring all of it, Mar’i, I can make sure that my granddaughter and my posy are able to be in each other’s lives. She could use the stability." It’s because Mar’i’s doped and Ollie’s not sure if she’ll recall this conversation that he adds, gently, "…you could use the stability, too."
Mari hums softly and holds up fingers as the nurse begins the real rigmarole of the checkup, asking how many she took (Five), if she meant to (Mar’i shakes her head fiercely), does she have any nausea or vision trouble (No), before she begins filling out discharge papers, conditional on Mar’i not taking any more medication for 32 hours and not leaving the Watchtower. “You guys…thought I was dead,” Mar’i says, unable to raise her voice to the lilt of a question, as she signs the discharge papers sloppily.
"We didn’t tell Lian," Ollie says hurriedly, in case this is what Mar’i is worried about. "I hadn’t figured out what to tell her yet, so we didn’t, and thank god because here you are safe and … not-dead."
"Okay," Mar’i nods, shrugging her legs off the bed when the nurse walks away. "People were sad," she asks, in another not-question tone.
Ollie repeats and rephrases. “People were fucking devastated.”
Mari thinks about this as best she can now that she’s not too angry to even humor the idea. “That’s so…weird…” she mutters, pushing herself off the bed, wobbly but able to stay upright. “No one cared when the baby showed them to me…”
Ollie harrumphs. “I don’t think that … creature was a reliable source, Mar’i,” he says dryly. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t trying to comfort you or even show you reality. It was only there to upset and disturb us.” He gets her a glass of water. “Believe me, I know from personal experience what it’s like to die and have nobody care. That’s not what happened with you, not one little bit.”
"Yeah, but," Mar’i replies, taking the water and downing it quickly, hoping to soothe the onset of cotton mouth, "sometimes reality is what is scariest."
Ollie shrugs. “I agree with what you’re saying, but its job was to scare and upset you as much as possible. So if reality wasn’t gonna do that, it wouldn’t bother showing you what was true. Just trickery.” He refills her water glass, saying, “Don’t drink this one so fast. Everybody saw different things, so it probably would’ve changed its tune for you saw through its act.”
Mari drinks the next cup of water more slowly, as requested. “Thanks.” Ollie watches her sip the water. “It’s probably hard to internalize all this just yet,” he says, “what with how much time the creature had with you. But I’m not gonna stop reminding you how much you’re loved and wanted here, Mar’i. Till you’re ready for it to sink in.”
Mari chews on the rim of the glass, teeth making a soft squeaking sound, but she avoids Ollie’s eyesight. “It was a baby, yanno,” she murmurs, staring at the curtain that separates them from Kyle and Jason. “I got tortured by a baby. That’s Alanis sadism there.”
Ollie puts his hand on her knee, hoping the weight of it comforts her. “Oh, jesus, sweetheart. That’s—” the cruelty of it, exquisite and vicious, makes anger rise in his throat and Ollie chokes it back. “No wonder you’re all topsy-turvy. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Is it …” Ollie doesn’t quite know what to say, and settles on, “This might not be the right time to bring this up, Mar’i, but god knows if there would be. I just … it’s not the be-all and end-all. Having bio-kids. There’s so many other ways to build families, especially for people like us.”
Mari stares at the curtain as Jason stomps by. “No, I know,” she says simply, following the other Bat down the hallway with her eyes, “Roy and I were going to adopt.”
Kyle watches Jason leave, wanting to feel bad, but somehow not feeling it. He was right to put the decision back into Jason’s hands. He wasn’t going to be arrogant enough to think he knows anything more or better than his friends, especially the ones he cares so deeply for. He was right. Right? Kyle rubs his face and looks back to the closed curtain, a personal space for Mar’i and Queen, and a conversation that was still ongoing. Kyle constructs a chair, and sits down, holding his head in his hands as he leans forward.
Ollie decides to leave that one alone. “Okay,” he says. “As long as you don’t feel like it’s some failing on your part.” Ollie takes her glass from her and has some of her water, refilling it as he says, “…when Dinah lost the baby, she apologized to me. Over and over and over, like it was her fault. That was one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.” Even thinking about it now makes his throat constrict, the remembered sound of her voice, lost and directionless.
"That’s sad," Mar’i replies, forcing a little sympathy into her voice enough though the anxiety meds are coursing full-force. "That’s really sad. And now Bruce. That’s sad."
Ollie closes his eyes for a moment, ruthlessly shoving down his own memory of what the creature (the baby, the BABY) had been before he nods, licking his lips. “It is,” he agrees. “Very sad. All of the people I love have had to deal with a lot of sadness, Dinah and Bruce, and Kate and you, Mia and Jason … sometimes it seems like sadness is never finished with you. But that doesn’t mean you deserve it, any of it. You’re good people.”
"You’re good people, too," Mar’i intones, trying to sound sincere, "I just don’t get—" She moves past the curtain, staring at Kyle blandly as she spots him in his construct time-out chair. Or whatever it is. "You want me to beat up Todd?" she asks.
Kyle looks up, then stands up and comes over, giving Queen a slight nod. “Todd’s cool,” he says with a smile. “It’s all good. Are - ” Kyle looks at Queen, then back at Mar’i. “How’re you feeling?”
”Drunk, but less—” Mar’i mimes puking. “Not gonna die.”
"After all that pizza you ate it’d suck if you couldn’t keep it down," Kyle tries to joke, but it’s sort of in poor taste. "Anyway, I heard the nurse say you gotta stay on the Watchtower for…twenty-four hours? Is it?"
Mari holds up three fingers, then two.
Ollie listens to this exchange for a while, then interjects, “Looks like Rayner here’s gotcha covered. I’m gonna head home for now, but I’ll come back and see you tomorrow, okay?”
Mari looks over at Ollie and nods. “Okay. Sorry if I’m bitchy then.”
Ollie nods. “Water off a duck’s back,” he assures her, and leans in to peck Mar’i on the cheek. He gives Kyle a short tip of the fingers to his forehead, then trots off.
Kyle watches Queen leave and then turns back to Mar’i. “Once you’re cleared medically, you…” Kyle scratches his scruffy chin, then thinks of something. “…you can come stay with me, get out of this place. Living here for too long is…it ain’t good.”
Mari shrugs. “I like it. Besides,” she glances off in the direction Jason went, “you’re going to live with him, right? No gracias, hermano.”
Kyle shakes his head. “No. I’m not gonna room with him. What d’you like about it?”
Mari thinks about this as she moves towards the lounge. “Sounds like a bad breakup,” she comments idly, before continuing on: “I like that there’s a bell that rings at 8 am every morning. I like that there’s free food. I like that…I like that I get forced to see people, even if I don’t want to.”
Kyle walks with her. “Damn. Well….those are all good reasons….” Kyle shuts his eyes momentarily, shaking his head. C’mon Rayner… “Yeah, never mind. What was I thinking. You do what you think is best for you. If you think living here is the bomb, then good, good for you.”
"I’m not rejecting you," Mar’i adds, finding a comfy seat to flop over in, before curling up on herself. "I just don’t think you realize what a hassle living with me is. Besides, I’m sure you and Todd will patch it up."
"I shouldn’t have asked," Kyle states, and then laughs suddenly. "I mean it’s self-preservation innit? And OBVIOUSLY I never learn. I just keep asking you, asking you for things and then getting you inevitably get hurt. Like. What the hell, right? I shouldn’t have asked."
Mari stares at Kyle, eyes widening. “Huh?”
Kyle looks down at his hands and the ring. “I’m saying you’re right to not trust me. After the non-stop bullshit I put you through. You deserve a better person to consider your friend.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a long time, then says finally, “Zee has to be totally 100% cool with it.”
Kyle laughs again. “Right? I mean, she must - she’s magical, man, she must have like all these…” Kyle stops and looks at Mar’i, frowning. “Wait. Why aren’t you telling me off? For being…for something? Don’t you wanna tell me off?” Kyle looks at her and then realizes. “Oh. The anxiety pills. Non-anxiety pills.”
Mari looks back at Kyle, mirroring his frown. “What the fuck are you talking about? Make sure Zee is okay with me staying with you.”
Kyle stares at Mar’i. “What? I mean - I mean of course. Of course she’d be okay with…” He turns towards Mar’i, looking at her now. “I just - I really shouldn’t be imposing on you like this, I mean, you should be able to do whatever you want. I just wanna…I just wanna… after what my - my - the malformed fetus did to you, I just wanna —”
"Shut up about your fetus," Mar’i grunts, angry peeking out from underneath the drugs. "You’ve already done more for me as my friend that that stupid fetus could ever do to me in three days. I’ll be fine. And I swear to X’Hal, I’ll sleep on your couch if you try to rescind your offer now."
Kyle is silent for a long time. Then, he says, “The Child. The Child took Baby away.” Kyle looks down at his hands again. “I know….I know you hated her and you have every right to hate her. I know she hurt you a million times over, and I know that - that if I had her, even for the few months that Ra’s turned her into the monster she was - if I could’ve been her daddy, I know she would’ve been…” Kyle shuts his eyes and shakes his head hard. “People like me don’t deserve children. I should never be a father. Not after this.”
Mari stares at Kyle for a moment. “You never saw what she really looked like, did you?”
Kyle doesn’t stop staring down at his hands. He speaks dully. “Lemme guess - she was a hideous warped evil monster of some sort for real? She was horrible and hateable. Right?”
Mari watches him carefully. “She wasn’t even a full brain. She was like…” Mar’i motions at her head, “the right hemisphere plus just a little of the left. She was all creativity and no language. You couldn’t have raised her even if you wanted to. She would’ve never been a human.” She pulls her legs up closer to her body. “I hate what she became. And what she did to me. But I could never hate a baby, especially not your baby. You’ll be a good dad if the time ever comes. And X’Hal knows if it’s with Zee, then we’ll have another demi-god to deal with. But at least this one would get to have love and support from day one.”
Kyle starts to cry when Mar’i says the words ‘full brain’.
Mari leans over, instantly regretting telling him that. “I mean that in a good way. I mean she got the best part of you, even if she didn’t get the rest of what she would’ve needed. But she would’ve needed a lot more than you could’ve given her. Constructs are no replacement for flesh and blood.” She tenderly places her hand atop his head, waiting to see if he flinches or pushes her away.
"My baby…my baby…" Kyle says into his hands, his voice cracked and broken as he rocks himself back and forth. It’s all coming out - ever since he’d learned that Talia was once pregnant, all of his feelings he’d suppressed when he learned it was born dead - all of it. He doesn’t pull away from Mar’i’s touch; in fact, he leans into it. "I’m sorry…poor little baby, mi niña, mo leanbh, I’m so sorry…"
Mari is, despite the meds, ready for this. For weeks, Mar’i’s been waiting for someone, anyone to let her close enough to mother them, let her play a role that she thrives in. So she reaches over, strong enough to pull Kyle to her, molding him against her in the chair. “Okay,” she murmurs, kissing his hair, “okay. You deserve to feel things too, sweetheart.”
Kyle doesn’t realize, until right at this moment when a familiar comforting woman-not-Zee cradles him in her arms, just how starved he is for the affection of a mother. His entire life was just him and his mother, and her death meant he’d packed that childhood need of a mother’s comfort. He had simply…decided to not feel distress. But this is all too much, now. He can’t hold it back anymore, and Kyle knows Mar’i is his peer but her voice is consoling and she’s offering him maternal love and Kyle pushes close, curling a hand around her upper arm and pushing his face against her collarbone. He can’t say anything, he just stays curled against Mar’i, a warm safe friend to weep against, until he has no more tears left.
Mari keeps her arms wrapped around Kyle—one hand at the crown of his head, the other against his shoulders—as he cries, eventually leaning in more, curling them into a ball. She rests her cheek against the crown of his head, moving both arms around his shoulders, and squeezes him tight. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmurs softly, rubbing his back. “You don’t have to always be strong and happy and unaffected by everything. You’ve had a lot of bad things happen to you, too.”
Kyle constructs a hanky and wipes the tears and snot off his face, not really caring that he feels like a mewling child. Some part of him is telling him he should pull away now, give Mar’i her space, but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to. She’s warm and comforting, so comforting. “You…you—” He stammers, but then he quiets again, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m - I’m okay. And - and Baby’s okay too. The Child has her now.” His voice is gravelly from all the crying. “Mar’i, the Ch - The Child…? The Child said to tell you ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’.” Kyle finally pulls away, wiping his face hard so he can look at Mar’i, and hold her face in his palm. “I’m okay. You’re…you’re…” Kyle’s face crumples again, but he pushes it back and smooths it over. “Thank you, Mar’i.”
Mari ’s own face changes at the message from The Child, sinking into a sadness of its own, but that’s quickly dulled by the medication. “You’re welcome. You’re a good person. You deserve to feel better.”
Kyle nods and then gives a sheepish grunt of a laugh, that sounds all stuffy. He’s still edged-up close to Mar’i, unwilling to get away from her closeness just yet. “I should be telling you that. How much - how much you mean to me and - and - and - it’s gonna be okay.” He looks up at her, reaching for her hand. “It is, right? It’s gonna be okay?”
Mari lets Kyle take her hand, nodding. “It’ll all be okay. It’ll be just fine.”
Kyle closes his eyes and nods. He then settles back in the couch, leaning his head against her shoulder. “Thank you.”
Mari leans back too. “Thank you for being my friend. Through everything.”
"We’ll help each other out and get through this," Kyle says, feeling that peaceful sort of sad euphoria that one can get after a really hard cry.
"Mmm-hmm," Mar’i replies, growing a little sleepy as she leans her head on top of Kyle’s. "Yep, yep."
Kyle closes his eyes, soothed by the feeling of Mar’i’s soft hair cascading about his ears. “Mmm-hmm,” he echoes her, as he drifts off as well.
———————————-
meanwhile, elsewhere in the Watchtower….
"Something about Kyle is off, or something is off between the two of you?" Zee asks Jason, a little quieter, her tone softer than it had been on her previous question. "Should I try and talk to him?"
"Between us, I guess," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "All I got out of him was that he’s confused about something, then he pretty much told me to fuck off." Okay, so that’s not exactly close to what Kyle said, but Jason’s brain has a way of warping things to the worst possible scenario. "Maybe, he’ll probably talk to you."
Zee grabs at her mocha as soon as the machine spits it out to near perfection, “I doubt he said that.” she comments gently, “So what were you talking about when you two got upset? Because that’s what this sounds like.” She couldn’t just go charging to Kyle saying that he upset Jason without a solid cause, at least according to the younger man.
Jason can’t really deny that, so he doesn’t. “About the living together thing.” He lets out a breath and decides to give her the whole story. Well, most of it. “Cause other options have been coming up, but I didn’t really wanna take ‘em, except… it still feels like he’s not okay hanging around me, and if he’s not okay with me being around, us living together is just gonna make it worse. So I was trying to ask about it, y’know to try and figure out if he’d still be okay with living with me, but he just kept saying it was my choice over and over again. Finally got him to admit that he was confused, but then he just shut down completely.”
"Okay. Okay…" she nods, listening to Jason intently. "So he said he’s confused, and you think he’s not okay being around you. Okay." Zee taps her fingers against her cup, thinking, "Did you tell him about being attracted to him? Is that what this is about? Because if it’s not that, I’d just chalk it up to everyone still feeling frayed."
Jason goes bright red at the question and frantically shakes his head. “No, course I didn’t tell him that. I-I mean, okay, so sometimes I kinda jokingly flirt at him, but that’s never made things weird like this. It’s only been weird since the day when Shadowcrest showed up in the park.” He pauses, thinking back to that day. “But… you might kinda have the right idea,” he admits slowly. “I was just trying to calm him down, and I sorta kissed him on the forehead. Didn’t even think about it, it’s just what my mom used to do for me when I was having a bad day. Thought it’d help, but… that’s when everything got fucked up…”
Zee sets her cup down, freeing up both hands to smooth over Jason’s shoulders, palms are still warm with the residual heat from her mocha. “I remember him being upset with you, after I got hurt, and he had no reason to be angry with you. He was just…spiraling after everything with Mar’i I think. But, you might be onto something with the kiss thing. I know it was innocent, but.” she shrugs, giving Jason’s shoulders a quick pulse before letting her arms drop back to her sides, “If he’s been feeling confused, he might not know what to do with it. I don’t know.” Crossing her arms over her chest, Zee tries to think of how to approach the subject with Kyle, “I feel like the only way he’s gonna talk about it, is if I pester him about having a crush on you too,” lightbulb, “Yeah that’ll do it.”
Jason is still too down in the dumps about everything to let himself feel better, but the warmth from Zee’s hands eases a little of the tension away. “I swear I wasn’t trying to—what?!” He cuts himself off abruptly, eyes going wide as he fully absorbs Zee’s suggestion. “O-okay, that’s a good plan, but what about not doing that, I think that’d work real well too.”
Zee nods, completely hooked by this lightbulb, “Nooo, no I think it’s pretty good. I think it’s pretty good! It’s entirely me bringing my feeling tot he table, nothing about you, I’m not making any of this about how you feel about us. It’ll be me and Kyle. Our feelings okay. Not that your’s don’t matter- they do! Just. It’s touchy, I think.”
Jason groans and presses his face into his hands. Still, it’s not like he’s coming up with a whole bunch of brilliant ideas to try instead of that. “Fine, but just… maybe leave out the part where I have crushes on you two?”
Zee pulls her fingers across her lips, sealing them shut, “Not a word, I won’t remind him.”
Jason lets out a breath and moves to lean back against the wall. “Okay. Okay, try your plan. I just… I just wanna be able to talk to him again, y’know? I’ll try anything.”
"I know you do. I know." she nods, turning away from Jason, looking at the entrance to the cafeteria, as if Kyle is due to enter at any minute. He’s not of course. Zee has no idea where he even is, monitoring something in space if she had to guess. Regardless, Zee starts imagining him arriving, holds her one sided conversation, takes his hand, gets to the bottom of his confusion. "I worried that he could start closing up on me too," she admits softly, "After everything with Baby. Things reopening with Talia." As if they’d ever been properly resolved in the first place.
Zee finishes off her mocha, and dissolves the cup in her hands, “You tell Kyle things you haven’t told anyone else?” her brow raises in surprise, “I don’t think I realize how close you two are.”
Jason knows where Kyle is, or where he was anyway, but isn’t about to tell her, not really eager to get to the part where Zee tests out her crush theory. Swallowing thickly, he nods. “Yeah, he needs people right now… think we all do. I’ve told him stuff I’ve never told anyone else, wanna be there for him to do that too, y’know?”
Jason glances away a little sheepishly as he nods. “Yeah, he just… I-I dunno, he makes me feel less scared about talking about stuff,” he says slowly, still trying to puzzle out why he finds Kyle so easy to talk to at times. “But… I don’t think it goes both ways, think I feel closer to him than he does to me.”
"Are you saying that because that’s what it’s always felt like, or because of what’s happening between you two lately?"
”I… I dunno. Maybe, both? Just sorta… haven’t thought about it too much till now, but just kinda looking back…”